Do Straight Women Belong on Gay Dating Apps? (No.)

Comments

1

Actually, no one should be on those apps...

2

"Please please I want to seem cooler to my friends and if I'm dating a boring old straight guy, people will think I'M boring! But I'm really interesting - but the only way I can prove it is by sleeping with the right type of guy!"

3

It's not even genuine self-loathing, ti's more like hand wringing. Politically and personally opposed but you're still gonna fuck it? Why not just find some D that your have things in common with? Also, she needs more gay friends if she thinks it's a homogeneous pool of feminism.

Make sure to have your bachelorette party at a gay bar too, LW, cuz, you know, they're just so much more fun that straight bars.

4

As long as she’s not catfishing I don’t see what the problem is with her presence on the app but everything else is just weird. It sounds like she just wants to find a queer-friendly straight guy and a gay hookup app isn’t going to help her. Don’t they have apps for bi/pan people?

6

"But I wanna be nonconformist in exactly the same way all my friends are!"

7

Very suspicious that she "repelled by heterosexuality", especially because she included the word "politically". She's simply trying to be provocative, and with that she was successful.

8

Meh i get it. Straight men for the most part are gross. They usually don’t put much efforts into looks because women don’t prioritize looks as much as men do. Sure I’m generalizing, but just look at any group of straight men and compare them to any group of gay men. I’d bet the amount of gay men who put more effort into their looks than the straight men. Not to say straight men don’t have pressure to look good, its just not as much pressure as straight women or gay men.

9

I don’t like straight people. I know that pisses off the younger generation when they hear people say it. I don’t care. Half a century of homophobia will turn you into me, too someday. Just wait until you see straights all making jokes about your friends as they drop dead of a plague like HIV. Just wait till you hear them debate whether to ship you off to a quarantine camp to die. You won’t like them so much after that, either.

And I really hate it when they invade gay spaces. Go hold your bachelorette party elsewhere.

10

@9: Sad that you feel the need to extrapolate homophobia like that. So unnecessary. That can only make you feel more isolated. Not good.

11

I am a butch dyke and I think that they need to keep these "transtrenders".... I mean.... "gender nonbinary" (a.k.a. attention whores) off our apps. If you got a dick, don't make you a woman. Especially, not a lesbian. So stop feeding me that shit on Tinder, if I am specifically looking for lesbians.

Also, non-binary is not a thing. There are only 2. So I will stick with science. You, leftie science deniers can fuck off, for all I care.

12

10,

You know what, no thanks. I’ll decide who I hang out with, ok? You go on over there to Hooters or wherever you go to celebrate your culture, and I’ll just hang out at CC Attlee and celebrate my own. There’s no need to show up and hijack everything, and make it so every thing has to be about you all the time, everywhere.

Let me have my quiet little corner with my people. We don’t need you,

13

So Katie, I usually agree with you, but I'm going to have to offer my own two cents. First of all, she should absolutely not be on gay male dating apps. But I am a straight woman who loves bi dudes, not because I hate heterosexuality, but it's like a sexual preference. The thought of being with a bisexual man turns me on for an inexplicable reason, even when it's just the two of us having sex. It's totally a thing. If she wants to find bi dudes, she should turn on a filter on OKCupid, cultivate an interest in emo music, or like move to Portland or something.

14

@9/12: I spent the late 80s and early-to-mid 90s in San Francisco, working in theater and at a gay alt-weekly while serving as caregiver for my sick then-partner. So I’ll match my AIDS-heyday trauma and friend-group body count against that of any other survivor. But it didn’t turn me into someone who can’t stand 90+% of Earthlings.

As a current resident of East Asia, I hope I’m not about to relive that experience. Even if I do, it’s not going to turn me against all Wuhanese.

But at least here, I can walk into a bar without worrying about dealing with groups of obnoxious bachelorettes in penis tiaras. I’ll give you that much.

15

14,

I’m 50 fucking years old. And all y’all, you all act like I’m some child that needs to be schooled. If anybody else came along and did to you what you’re doing to me, you’d be pissed.

How dare you invalidate me. You’ve got no right.

16

@12: Not Hooters. Like you, I prefer CC Attlee, although not lately, where I also celebrate "our own". Though I am quite comfortable in Seattle's neighborhood straight watering holes and dives as a change of pace instead of trekking up to the hill.

This isn't exactly the 80s you know. But I will always respect Larry Kramer. I saw 'The Normal Heart' produced in Seattle back then. Pretty heavy production.

Kind of disingenuous to write "I don't like straight people" and not expect a response. But I'll leave you to pout.

17

16,

That was actually a typo, but, fuck it, I like Clement Attlee, so let’s keep it as it is.
Raindrop, there’s little you and I will agree on. I enjoy your writing, even though I often disagree with it. That said, you should know by now that I haven’t lived my whole life here. I only got to Seattle in 1993. Before then, it was the South and the Midwest. I didn’t watch a film about HIV being produced, like you. I had my own experiences. And I don’t need to justify myself to you or anyone else.

I don’t mind a response, I just want respect. The reason why I don’t care much for straight people is, they kinda suck at the respect thing.

I got my own anger, I didn’t need to borrow it from Kramer.

18

@17: Project much? You don't know my experiences either. It was a play, not a film. I also lost loved ones and was a caregiver. So you can ease up on the "I-am-an-oppressed-gay-man-who-survived-AIDS" routine.

19

18,

It was both. And since it was your boy Reagan who killed 100,000 of us, I hardly think you of all people are in any position to say much of anything on the subject.

20

@19: Yeah, he was silent until finally compelled to say something. He and Bob Hope told AIDS jokes. Nancy was better but wouldn't give Rock Hudson White House permission to use a plane for treatment.

But just think what if a modern-day Trump republican was in power back then.

21

I just block women on Grindr. I'm here to find some dick and you're killing the mood.

22

Jesus Horatio Kee-RIST! Shit like this is why I am SO happily asexual and have no curiosity about exploring online dating sites, whatsoever. To those who do, it's your choice.

23

20,

You still vote Republican. You’re a proud gay conservative, even though St Ronnie a Reagan murdered 100,000 gay men just like you. You think I got problems, I’m too full of spite? Baby, what kinda spite do you have for your self and your fellow gays if you worship at the altar of Ronald Reagan?

24

You just know that some of the worst comments here come from the same straight men the LW is running from.

25

@23: I actually worship Nancy more.

26

25,

Why, for letting Rock Hudson die? That’s even colder than her husband. I mean, Rock was her best friend. And you like that, huh?

And then there’s the batshit astrology thing, and the Just Say No thing. The toughlove thing. You admire that in a person?

27

The invisible hand of the market will slap you in the face and then finger you until you squirm.

28

Funny, when I was on Grindr, it was absolutely pointless trying to actually meet anyone. "Hey", "hi", "Whats up?" "Not much you?" "hey", "hey" "sup", "hi"

29

@25 - Just for you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D29Ntyoi4sg

30

Dear LW: I hope you stay off the gay apps and don't bother those guys - they don't want you. I hope you stay off the straight apps and don't inflict your shitty attitude and cynicism on the straight guys - they don't want you. It seems like you've got a wealth of holier-than-thou self-righteousness, and sitting alone at home with just that really sounds like the best company you deserve.

31

29,

You’re talking to yourself. Not a good sign in men our age,

32

@31: I saw that. But I'm not one to clutter up the comments with an obvious correction comment. But that would have been better that the predictable retort you just made. We're annoying other commenters now, so let's just shut up.

33

32,

I’ll be satisfied that I tricked you into saying you like C. C. Attlee.

34

It's so bizarre to me that straight women insist on inserting themselves into EVERY aspect of gay culture. Gay bars are now 70% straight women. Gay strip clubs now 70% straight women. Gay Pride events now filled w/ straight women. Now, gay dating apps invade by straight chicks? WTF??? You can go ANYWHERE you want - 99% of the bars in any city are straight. Please F-off and let gay people have their own tiny slice of life.

35

I'm stunned that there's not already a thriving site for this.

Women's activities where there's some purpose to gender restriction will be the last to go. It might be much more interesting to get Ms Herzog's opinion on something like women's chess.