"His wife isn't interested in what has happened. "

You mean she knows? That's makes it even weirder.

Dan, WWII ended 75 years ago, so the son would have to be at least 75. The letter writer would have to be over 90. And don't worry about early onset dementia: the son is plenty old enough to have dementia at a normal age. I doubt the authenticity of this letter writer and his story, but thanks for enlightening us anyway.

@2: I'm terrible at maths. But I was thinking the LW could've been five years old when the war ended and have suffered from very (very, very) early memories of the Blitz as well as the deprivation the British experienced in the wake of the war. That would make her 80. She could be older, of course, but she could also be younger. And the son wasn't necessarily born before the war ended.

@2, 3: Yes, Dan is correct. Nothing in the letter connects the son to WWII, just LW. Your arithmetic (and reading) skills are fine, Dan.

Some medications for conditions often associated with age can also cause sexually inappropriate behavior, such as some medications for Parkinson’s.

Did the letter writer verify via phone or face-to-face that the photos were legitimate? When I read COP's letter, the first thing that came to mind was that the video and pictures were not coming from the OP's son but someone who had hacked his email account or gotten his phone and were pretending to be COP's son. Yes, he might have told his mother that he and his wife were not sleeping together anymore, but the video and photos might not have been his and how would she know? (I am assuming the mother has not seen her grown son's private parts.) I have gotten emails from pals asking for money to help them get back home from Vegas or Mexico or somewhere else and while they looked legitimate, the messages came from hackers running a scam. (One of these emails arrived while the person who was supposedly asking for funds to get home from Europe was sitting across the table from me at a coffee shop.)

Who's managing the steady stream of volunteers?

The mom may not be that old if one considers trauma from war does get passed along from one generation to the next, and she does acknowledge her parents abusing her.

As for the identity of the penis-owner in the pic/video, perhaps he shot them in a familiar location (perhaps his bedroom), so she'd know they were authentic.

In any case, this has to be the ultimate in guys sending inappropriate dick pics.

Something about this letter seems off. Ordinarily I don't scream "fake" or even care if a letter is fake if it's entertaining. This is not entertaining. If true (and I really hope it's not true), it's quite disturbing.

Agree with nocutename that it is quite disturbing...it’s freaky enough to be real but not tooo outrageous. But yeah, it’s just weird and creepy as fuck-ish. Jeepers!

Fake or not, this type of reaction to parent and child reuniting after years has been reported to have happened often. I’m sure Dan covered this in his answer, not my favourite topic.
I think your reaction is very understandable LW, as in a way is your son’s.
However, must be firm in closing this down,
though not judgemental. Tell him you are his mother, that you love him, you won’t though be available to him until he resolves these erotic feelings for you. Erase those pictures from the machine and your mind, press the reset button, and wait. Hope he works thru it. Good luck.

‘You must be firm..’
/ haven’t you all read of fathers and daughters shacking up, after meeting when she an adult.

While I appreciate Dan's going into interesting stuff about genetic attraction, I don't think he spent enough time condemning COP's son's behavior. He went too quickly to dementia. He could have spent more time on "ugh." Junior could have felt the attraction and not told his birth mother. He surely knew how telling her was going to make her feel. He did so because he's an abusive asshole who likes making people uncomfortable. That he doubled down with what amounts to "I'm comfortable with being an abusive asshole" is unconscionable.

A lot has been written about adopted children being disappointed when they discover their birth parents aren't all they'd hoped. I haven't seen as much on parents who find that the children they gave up for adoption turned out to be abusive assholes. I hope COP is able to find solace somewhere (and I don't know whether to tell her to look for a support group or therapy. This is a new one for me.)

Since Dan already covered the (to us) familiar territory of genetic attraction, I'll just say

@COP:
I'm sorry that your son didn't value your relationship enough not to do that. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Mr Savage's maths are in the right area. Bad luck for LW1 that she was able to reconnect only to find such a rotter.

L2 only makes me wonder which is larger - the percentage of hot people who call themselves hot, or the percentage of people who call themselves hot who genuinely are.

True Fichu, he didn’t hear her when she responded. And of course he shouldn’t have sent pics at all. It’s the behaviour of a disturbed man.
If the LW was clear she wanted to totally cut him off, she wouldn’t write to Dan.

Alternate theory: This doesn't necessarily have anything to do with GSA attraction. Adopted children have a range of issues that can intensify/lay dormant if they aren't dealt with early on. "Why didn't you love/want me enough to keep me?" being a common one. This could be a passive/aggressive expression of anger designed to provoke/shock that has morphed into this twisted way of striking back at his birth parent(s)... i.e. "Look at how fucked up I am because of you!" COP is right to cut off contact until the son gets some much needed help, sad as that may be after so many years apart. Be careful what you wish for, finding your long-lost children/siblings/parents doesn't come with a guarantee of "happily ever after".

P.S. I have no doubt that you'll get through this crappy, unprecedented time, Dan. Here's hoping The Stranger makes it too! I made a donation to the cause - least I could do after all these years of free entertainment!

I think this one calls for the dude... 'That's a bummer... man.'

Yes Donny, I had that thought too. Anger at his mother for abandoning him. Yes, therapy is what he needs, if this relationship has any chance of repair.

So I'm out of my depth, and my own experience, but I wonder, is GSA a thing among adopted kids meeting birth parents as adults because the non-adopted-out offspring have a whole upbringing to either resolve their attractions, or keep it to themselves, but are in fact no less often attracted? Just a thought.

Nocute @9, I agree -- and the "CPTSD from WW2" was it for me. Yes, that would make LW very elderly indeed. A five-year-old wouldn't have PTSD from WW2. Just the other day I saw in a coronavirus FB group a post saying "let's be kind to our boomers, they fought in WW2 and deserve our respect." Um, no, they didn't fight in WW2, they were born after it ended. It's possible LW is in her 80s and the son his 60s, but that felt suspicious to me too. Otherwise the letter is plausible. This is a thing that happens (here's your incest, Lava), and if COP is real, she handled this horrifying situation well. I hope she can put it out of her mind and remember the few good times she shared with her son.

The mention of CPTSD makes me think the first letter is real. In the US this disorder is known as PTSD and depersonalization/derealization disorder, while in Canada and Europe it is known as Complex PTSD. My partner was diagnosed with this last year when she started having seizures from her flashbacks. I feel so bad for LW1. How awful to reconnect with her son and discover he's a creep