Clog my rona lungs why dont ya
Clog my rona lungs why don't ya Alexander Spatari / GETTY IMAGES

Trump is beating Biden in the cash game: At the beginning of this month, the President's re-election campaign flexed $225 million in cash, while Biden's campaign only put up $20 million, reports the New York Times. Now Biden's fundraisers are scrambling to make up the difference, which is difficult given the whole ban on massive public gatherings thing.

Though he admits "narrow path" to victory, Sanders is hanging in: His team is gearing up to debate Biden in April, according to the Washington Post.

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Chris Smalls led a warehouse workers strike on Staten Island: Then Amazon fired him for it, reports Bloomberg. The workers wanted Amazon to clean the facility due to concerns about COVID-19 contamination. Amazon cited "violating social distancing guidelines" in Smalls's walking papers. A lot of nice vindictive bosses you got working over in Staten Island, Amazon.

Trump squashes Obama's "most significant" climate change policy: According to the Washington Post, an Obama-era rule required manufacturers to "improve average fuel efficiency" in cars, trucks, and SUVs by 5 percent per year. Today the Trump administration is set to roll back that efficiency goal to a mere 1.5 percent before 2026. That means more smog is on the way! Good thing we're not in the middle of a respiratory disease outbreak.

Washington's Attorney General gets his hair cut at HairMasters: He's a chess champ, a protector of consumer rights, and he cuts his hair at a chain chop shop in a north-end shopping center. Could not ask for a better AG.

No one was indicted in a 1946 lynching case: And now we'll never know why. Back then a white mob surrounded two black couples near the Apalachee River crossing at the Moore's Ford Bridge in rural Georgia. The four "were dragged from their car at gunpoint on July 25, 1946, tied up and shot about 60 times at close range in the attack, which was widely considered to be one of the last mass lynchings in American history," reports the New York Times. Authorities at the time interviewed 2,790 people, and 106 witnesses testified on a grand jury, but on Monday a federal appeals court voted to keep all those records sealed, overturning a lower court's decision to open them up. The chief judge on the court who made this decision was appointed by George Bush the First, and four were appointed by Trump.

Lawyers are worried about Zoombombing: Now that everyone has throughly integrated Zoom into their business and personal lives, the New York attorney general's office is asking the videoconferencing (yeah! one word! I couldn't believe it either!) platform a lot of tough questions about his data privacy and security measures. In a letter the attorneys argue the company has been "slow to address security flaws such as vulnerabilities 'that could enable malicious third parties to, among other things, gain surreptitious access to consumer webcams.'"

The Bundy dunces are back: Last week Ammon Bundy, leader of Idaho's vanilla ISIS movement, held a meeting "pledging to help provide legal, political and physical defense to people who are pressured by the 'authorities' or anybody else to comply" with stay-at-home orders issued by the governor, according to KTBV7.

So you've got a bunch of rice. Here's how to make it good. That list of New York Times rice ideas criminally excludes tahdig, so here's a recipe for that.

Public Service Announcement: If you've already seen this on the blog before, here's your reminder:

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Authorities round up all prisoners who escaped Yakima County jail: By Friday the cops had bagged all 14 inmates who had sprung the joint last Tuesday in what became the largest jailbreak in Yakima County history. The break "began with an inmate refusing to go back to his bed, leading to a riot," reports the AP.

"Snohomish yarn shop owner considers her business essential:" That's the headline on a sweet King 5 story about the owner of Country Yarns. Instead of forcing employees to come into crowded working conditions, she's turned her shop into a "one-person assembly line" for delivering knitting supplies, which she says people in isolation need now more than ever.

Longtime Seattle PI reporter/columnist Joel Connelly retires on his birthday: Well, I guess this means he can finally take a break from pumping former Stranger staffers for info on our internal politics. Joel blocked me on Twitter because he didn't like my cussing, so I'll have to leave my Joel thoughts here. According to his LinkedIn, Connelly has worked at the PI since 1973. His mustache will be missed, his tiny backpack will be missed, and his wily appearances on the Seattle Channel will be missed.

The West Seattle Turkey is at it again: On Tuesday it was all over the Junction, crossing "usually busy SW Alaska," according to the West Seattle Blog. Earlier it was seen walking up someone's stairs. This bird is all over the place.

Man tells cops he was teaching his pit bull to drive after high-speed chase: ICYMI: "Troopers said the man told them he was teaching his dog how to drive and the pit bull was found in the driver's seat while the man was steering the driving wheel," reports KOMO. "Authorities have not publicly identified the 51-year-old man who is from Lakewood but he is facing several charges, including DUI, reckless driving, hit-and-run and felony eluding."