They Broke Up Right Before The Lock Down

Comments

1

Other than lousy attitudes, there's no problem.

2

We can all get through this breakup, BUST. Together.

3

fuck like minks
and part like
Freinds

4

Long time reader, first time commenter with extra time on my hands :) My ex of 4 years and I broke up and immediately went to the friends stage, even still fucking occasionally while we were both still single. (Hey we knew each other's bodies and what we liked) I definitely recognize why Dan's advice of a 6 month period is usually wise but for us it was fine. Five years later we are best friends, I am close with his angel-of-a-wife who has no issue with our friendship (with a few hot three ways thrown in!), and I babysit their two daughters all the time! Since OP makes it sound like their breakup was relatively mature and amicable it seems like Dan's suggestion should be doable, I think they just need to talk openly about boundaries and respecting each other's space.

5

omg BUST my heart goes out to you!

But it could always be worse. You could be stuck living with an ex WITH COVID-19!

6

@4 "We broke up and immediately became friends. You could tell we were friends because we had sex occasionally. Now we're best friends, which you can tell because we sometimes have threesomes with his wife."
Uh, yeah, so that's not the same definition of "friends" that many people use...

7

I think what the author doesn't mention is that when you end a relationship, you want that fresh air, and sometimes to just get back out there. It's impossible to do when your now ex is right there. You can't masturbate, can't look at dating profiles, can't shift that perspective. I get it. What I might suggest, if their home is big enough, is for each of them to have a privacy room, where the other can't just wander in. If one is making noise, the other won't comment, if one is in there for two hours looking at stuff online, the other won't seek attention. It's easier to be friends with a little oxygen.

8

My now ex-GF broke up with me a few weeks ago, about 1 week before the lockdowns started to progress where I live. Our relationship was about 6-9 months, depending on how you count. I saw her about a week later when she came to pick up some things, and I was upset and angry again for a few days. In my past serious relationships, I moved to the friend phase after a while. It felt like she jumped to wanting that far earlier than I was ready. I told her I needed more space. Within another week, I was ready to just be friends. Simply put, two weeks ago feels like it was months ago. 

Relating this to the LW, your feelings might progress a lot faster than you expect.

9

Ankyl @6, that sounds like pretty much everybody's definition of friends with benefits.

BUST, sympathies. I broke up with an ex and had to live with him for months. It was easier for us because he was able to travel a lot, which won't be possible for you. But 30 to 60 days is not forever. You use the word "house," which implies that you can each go into a room and shut a door at least. Cast your mind back to college age when you lived in a group house with roommates you didn't necessarily know well, and reprise that arrangement. Do your own things as best you can while waiting this out. And you do have a real plan -- he'll move out, when that's possible. Good luck.

10

@4 That's not a seamless transition to friends. It's not particularly noteworthy to transition to friends with benefits. That happens all the time. It's like me bragging that I sold my car to a dealer. That's often the way that goes.

Making an instantaneous transition to friends is much more difficult.

11

Fucking friends occasionally doesn't automatically make them FWBs. There's more to it than that. Besides, there's nothing wrong with transitioning to friends via FWBs under the circumstances. As @4 said, they just need to talk openly about things.

12

Start sewing masks.

Oh. And they shouldn’t be Lone Ranger Masks. Glad somebody FINALLY told me that.

13

Since they need to live together for a while, they should take advantage of the opportunity to become HSP (Household Sex Partners). Both are clean and virus-free. Break up later, post-virus.

14

@6 Hey, if it is actually working for the three of them. then WTF what most other people do.

15

Popping in late to say that time-shifting can help avoid the awkwardness of sharing the same common areas.

If one person stays up super late and the other goes to bed early then you'll have more hours to each use the kitchen without interacting.