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Your questions about COVID-19 have been boring. People use you not only for advice, Dan, but as escapism, as entertainment. And I thought a question about my situation might be more interesting than any of the ones you've been answering recently.

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I'm a bisexual cisgender female, married for over a decade. My marriage has been struggling. My husband has lost his sex drive while mine has gone wild. I'm talking constant horniness. We have only had sex twice in the last year. He couldn't come either time. He won't do chores. He has depression and anxiety but won't see a therapist. We married young after meeting at a Christian college. Since leaving the church seven years ago, I've found myself interested in different kinks I didn't realize I had back when I got married. Kinks like D/s and erotic hypnosis.

Thanks to quarantine, I can't leave my husband. He doesn't have a job, and we don't have the money to separate. But I can cheat on him under his nose. And I do. Online infidelity. I'm in a tist/sub (hypnotist/subject) Dom/sub (Dominant/submissive) Master/slave relationship. I'm hypnotized by text on Discord by the tist I found on kik. Through erotic hypnotism and imagination, I really feel so thoroughly fucked by my tist. I'm His slave, and He is my Master. Hair pulled, bent over His bed, fucked roughly. Tied to a spanking bench and flailed. Giving Him a blowjob in a space under His desk. So many awesome experiences through erotic hypnosis. I recommend it to your fellow readers. So far as my husband knows, I'm just reading erotica and masturbating. But to me, this is real.

So, Dan, am I a cheating piece of shit? Or just someone trying to keep sane?

Hoping Your Post Niftier Observations

I'd say you're definitely doing what you need to do to stay married—at least for now—and stay sane.

But you knew that, HYPNO, and you knew I'd say that. Which means—as compelling as your sexual interests and practices are—there isn't much grist in your letter for the ol' sex advice mill.

Don't get me wrong: your kink is extremely interesting and I learned something from your letter. (I wasn't aware that a person could be hypnotized via text.) And your letter reminds us that getting off online—whether you're married and cheating (or supplementing) or single and horny—doesn't mean you can't get creative and kinky. But there's no real dilemma here and nothing's at stake. So, really, how interesting is your question compared to the COVID questions that have appeared in the column recently?

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And so far as I'm concerned, HYPNO, there's no real ethical issues to wrestle with here. Others will disagree, I realize, and that's what the comments threads and Friday's are for. But seeing as circumstances beyond your control have compelled you to remain in what amounts to a marriage of inconvenience, HYPNO, I'd say you're doing the best you can.... and you knew that's what I would say.

But thank you for writing—really! I love hearing about people's sex lives! But... in all honesty... there wasn't much to your question. But I enjoyed reading your letter and thought I'd share it. And here's hoping your husband is having his own safely socially/physically distant fun. His sanity matters too.


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Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.
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