Hypno Kinkster Cheating Right Under Her Husband's Nose

Comments

1

so many uses for the internet. this is a new one to me. thanks

2

"oh Daaaaan, my sex life is soooo fucking hot, oooooh yeah... ahem Oh uh here's a half-assed question"

3

Doesn't look like you afte risking too much here. I mean, your husband could find out and you'd have to deal with that and of course he'd be hurt. But you are done with your marriage, and you're done caring about his feelings and doesn't sound like he's any kind of halfway decent partner himself. So, good luck. But note that your humblebrag style isn't particularly attractive.

4

No ethical question, and just as boring as covid advice. She
sounds horrible, actually. No wonder her husband is depressed.

5

One.
You say COVID questions are boring, and then you send Dan a COVID question.

Two.
I'm skeptical that someone can be hypnotized by text. Sounds more like self-hypnosis to me.

6

Way too detailed to be real, of course, but I think it would be worthwhile to have one SLLOTD a week, say, devoted to Dear Penthouse "questions" -- just while we're in this break. It beats Tiger King.

7

I read the first few comments, and was going to remind people to be kind. But nah. There was no genuine question in this letter, and nothing to chew on.

"Your questions about COVID-19 have been boring." Rude.

"My marriage has been struggling." Really? It sounds like your husband has been struggling too. It must suck for him to be locked up with someone who doesn't give a shit.

I've played with erotic hypnotism over the years, but the idea of doing it via text is new to me. And while I try to keep an open mind... LW must be THE most suggestible person ever minted... or a fake.

8

That does sound fun, and no LW, you’re not cheating, you’re keeping yourself from feeling homicidal rage! When this is over, please find a way to leave this man.
Enjoy, guilt free. That’s my take.

9

But maybe Dan could put today's headline LW in touch with VAG from SF of a few days ago, who intended her panties to wind up under her fella's nose. They could share.

10

Is this an add for some site? The husband is a douche, and this marriage is already dead. Once the lockdown is over let’s hope the LW finds a way to bury it.

11

Oh, and apparently it's really a thing:
https://mindreadingskills.com/hypnotize-text-messages-possible/
OK, it's still as bs as it sounds, but then, so is a lot of our life these days.
Zissen Pesach

12

Yeah, text hypnosis. Sure that's real lol.

We'll file that kink under fantasy role-play.

13

@12, Agreed. I'm pretty skeptical of hypnosis in general. But hypnosis via text message? No. Just no. But I agree it might be fun role-play. Half of eroticism is what's going on in our minds, so fun and interesting role-play can be very erotic, even if it's just a fantasy.

14

No ethical question, Dan? The guy does no housework. He’s dropped the ball in all areas of life by the letter, and the LW is covering him, one assumes. Cleaning up after him etc.
I’d call her play time a just exchange.

15

I'm surprised this was answered so fast and posted so quickly. Less than 24 hours.

I realize I didn't add something very important. Watching out for your safety with hypnosis is very important. There are many unscrupulous hypnotists out there. The hypnotist Nimja gives some good advice here:
https://hypno.nimja.com/help

I realize how much I was bragging. And was tough on Dan in the beginning of the letter. I'm sorry. My goal was more to be a good distraction for people.

16

"circumstances beyond your control have compelled you to remain in what amounts to a marriage of inconvenience"

For the past month, compelled, sure. For the years before? Nah. If the LW really wanted out, I expect she'd manage. People separate without much money, somehow, if it's important to them. The husband not having a job doesn't compel the rest of her life.

Doesn't sound like she wants to leave. She's getting sex she likes, she's maybe getting off on cheating it sounds like, she's getting to avoid conflict or pity her husband or whatever else is in this marriage for her? Whether he's as happy I dunno.

17

Persephone @15: Yes, the bragging came through loud and clear. And you weren't tough on Dan, you were just rude. Being irritated by Internet bullshitters is a great distraction, so mission accomplished.

18

Persephone @15 -- thanks for writing in!! So, what's the difference, for you between hypno play and reading erotica about hypnotized play? Does your hypnotist play with your memory, telling you not to read back in the text to figure out what he did to you?

19

Hi Persophone, great you’ve joined us. Dan enjoyed your letter and it sure woke me up.

20

I really admire and respect Dan Savage. And I really was so very rude. That wasn't acceptable at all. I was wrong. I am really sorry Dan Savage.

@15 The situation is a bit more complex that I put here. My husband could live with his parents, for us to separate, but that isn't a good option with Covid.
And you are right. I ought to have left years before. I'm finally in a place mental heath-wise that I'm ready to move on.

I have been trying to get my husband into a therapist. I know he has depression. I have depression too, and it's hard to see him suffer when he could find help, find understanding. I want him to get help. I am kind to him. I do care about him, even though the tone of my letter is extremely flippant.

Hypno by text works for me. Maybe I am the most susceptible person ever. I do fall into trance very easily. Spirals can be used too, so it's not always only just words.

@8 Thanks for your support Lavagirl!

21

More questions for Persephone: How do you think your husband would react if you sat him down for a serious talk about your kinks and your online affair? Do you worry he would get abusive? Or that he might leave?

22

@20
You are a sad little girl.
You really need to tend to your real-world life;
your situation is no healthier than your husband's
(and do you really think he isn't tending to his own needs? Don't be clueless...)

23

and don't you dare have any kids.
ever.

24

@18
I can't do amnesia hypnosis, so what you described wouldn't work for me.

There is a lot of description between me and my tist. It is very roleplay. We respond to each other in descriptions. But my mind sinks deeper than just roleplay. When I was paddled, I felt the sting and slap, the heat on my skin. And it can persist afterward too. Even though it is all happening in my mind and I haven't physically been touched at all.

Things like countdowns, spirals, and deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation can be used, relaxing into trance. Letting me be controlled.

This can work on non-sexual things too. I have arthritis, and a hypno-massage made my ankles relaxed. Won't cure it, but helps in the short term.

Triggers are really good evidence that it's hypnosis. I have a certain phrase that when my tist writes it, I will orgasm. Usually used with sex, but sometimes just on its own.

26

That’s insane, Persephone. As they say, the mind is the biggest sexual organ.
Do you think you’re a CPOS, because you’re the one who has to live with this deception.

27

Thanks for commenting @Persephone! It's always nice to get more details from the LWs in the comments. (It's hard to get to know someone / a situation from just one letter.) Also, appreciate you taking in our feedback and apologizing! I understand how trying to be funny can easily get off course.

Wishing you the best of luck as you wait this out. Maybe treat your (for now) husband as a roommate/friend? If possible. Play nice... Keep your sanity... Not much else to do right now unfortunately!

28

My husband knows a lot of my kinks. I've been listening to hypno audio files and interactive hypno text files for years. But my husband is very uninterested. Even in just using triggers.

Anything in the BDSM range, he is very uncomfortable with. We have talked. And nothing anal at all. He doesn't want to give oral either. So he wouldn't be surprised at my kinks.

Seeing the chats would shock him. He wouldn't be abusive at all. He would be very stunned. This isn't like anything I've done before. I don't know if he would leave. Or what he would do. I keep the chats quite hidden.

My husband hasn't had a job in 10 years. There is more to my situation than is written here. He really isn't attending to his needs. I'm in a cycle of enabling him. And this does go far beyond corvid times, but it hasn't been until very recently that I understood my situation.

I never plan on having kids.

29

Oh dear Persephone, so what.. you going to enable him forever. Because you deserve a fully open sex life and he sounds like he needs to take responsibility for himself. You don’t need to have children, he’s still one.
Good luck and keep enjoying your play.

30

But yeah, took my mind off the virus. I think words can arouse women more strongly than they do men, who like visuals. Generally speaking, I’m saying. It’s mostly women who buy books and a lot of those are romance stories.

31

@26
I sometimes do see myself as a CPOS. My question to Dan was a real one. Goes back to my religious conditioning. And the deception too. What I'm doing with the tist is very different than listening to hypno files which my husband was okay with.

@27 That is the way I think of my husband. As a roommate. Despite the tone of the email, I am much much kinder than I sound to my husband.

32

Yawn, I thought she was going to be hypnotising her husband and banging other men while he's in a trance and completely oblivious.

Welcome Persephone @15. Yeah, your letter was published because Dan is just as bored with Covid letters as you were, but that's all he's gotten lately. Seems like this would be a good time to write in, for everyone who's tried before and not gotten an answer. Then again, the trouble is exactly that we're all locked up and most of our questions are now irrelevant. Please ignore the obvious troll in the comments; he's someone who really needs to get a better hobby. He says "don't have kids" to everyone.

Are you cheating? Would your husband consider what you're doing cheating? My take (and it's probably already been said) is that he's taken sex off the table by refusing to address his depression, so you're free to meet your needs however you want. And it seems you're doing so safely and sanely. Once quarantine is over you need to decide your long-term strategy: you supporting him while living as roommates, or leaving and forcing him to person up and sort his shit out. Good luck, and in the meantime, enjoy the sex that's a lot better than many of us are managing in these dark times!

33

That’s a good plan, Fan. Yes, the real thing over pretend anytime.

34

Not now that. This hypno is fascinating. And by text no less. Sexting can be very erotic.
Shit eh? The stories out there. I’m sitting in my studio, listening to my favourite Beatles song, one of them. “ oh Darling”. Drinking wine and smoking dope. Family out side doing their thing/s.
Sending love and real hugs to my SL family.
Even you, Dan Savage.

35

One of my sons turns 33 on Good Friday!!
Only now do I know how far those fucking Catholics got into me.
Cardinal Pell might be free, on a technicality. He was found guilty by a jury. And the Pope can go fuck himself.

36

Persephone: yeah, you're cheating and no, you shouldn't be, but you also should have divorced your husband and sent him back to his parents 9 years ago. Honestly, even the covid excuse isn't quite kosher, because if he doesn't have it now (he probably doesn't), he won't infect his parents, and they'd probably be glad of the extra help around the house.

Your enabling isn't helping anything - give him the boot so you both can move on and become better people.

37

Persephone, now I've had a chance to read the comments in detail, if you've only recently personed up and dealt with your depression, I think you owe your husband a bit more patience for him to get to where you are. This is beyond the online-affair issue though, which I would say falls under the "do what you need to do" principle. How long did it take you to sort your shit? I say give your husband an equivalent amount of time. Many men (many people) define cheating as having some element of physical contact. Perhaps think of this as a temporary stopgap, equivalent to porn, while you encourage your husband to get better and remain sexually open to him. It won't be difficult to end things if your marriage improves and he need never know. It sounds like there is some affection there, and I wish your husband luck, whether the two of you stay together or not.

38

Persephone said some other issues are going on.. implying she feels obligated to stay. Maybe he has a disability.
Unless someone has a gun to one’s head, one can always find a way to leave a relationship. It often doesn’t feel that way from the inside, I remember well.

39

@15. Persephone. Thank you for your interesting letter. I learnt that you can be erotically-hypnotised remotely.

The question is where your marriage is going after the lockdown. I have the feeling you want to end it.

Speaking a bit more generally, I think anyone married usually unable to do chores through depression should do the chores they can and see a clinician.

40

Persephone: thanks for the update @20, and sorry for the nutbar troll that's flaming you. Those comments will be deleted in due course.

As I mentioned, I was dubious about the text hypnotism, but that was largely because of my overall reaction to your letter. I've only ever done it in person, and vocal tone and cadence seem to be very important; also, the subject having her eyes closed to limit distraction.

I've learned something today, but I think text hypnotism would make me a bit nervous. Do you have a safety mechanism if, for example, your phone battery dies, or you otherwise lose signal? I suppose that, worst case, you'd eventually surface, but it could be a while.

As for the question of cheating: that's really up to you, and your husband if he finds out. People generally agree that fucking other people behind the back of committed partner(s) is cheating. You're not doing that. We've seen people claiming that viewing porn is cheating, that interactive porn is cheating. That's more or less what you're doing. It might be better if your husband knew, but if you're leaving (after Covid-19) that would just complicate things. On the other hand, if you're not leaving, he kinda has a right to know, so he can decide if he wants to stay.

41

Persephone- I can relate to the excitement your intense, forbidden correspondence can generate, having been there myself, though I’d never felt being hypnotized nor hypnotizing even in the most exciting chat and video moments. One of the best experiences in this regard was few years ago, with a married person who responded to my CL post out of the blue. Them being married, I was already out of mine, and cheating on their spouse during daytime WITH ME, discussing life and all things sex, experiences and fantasies alike, was a major added testicles tickle value.

What really baffles me is how you manage to conceal such elaborate, intense, time consuming activities from your husband while both of you are locked 24/7.
If there’s anything SL readers in your situation can learn from you is how to cheat on their spouses/SO’s during lockdown !/> =)

42

Unfortunately I gotta agree with Dan. I'm kinky and I play D&D. The thing in common with these things is they are super interesting to me because I am the one playing. But no one else really gives a shit about my elaborate hate-fuck sessions or my new eladrin bladesinger wizard. This letter is someone bragging about their D&D character backstory.

43

Not sure what a D&D is, drjones. The LW jumped on the thread and this is no elaborate back story. It’s true.

44

Good points fubar, @40.
On some level P, I think your husband must pick up the vibe, and at the moment it’s not a concern. You have become his mother, so all his needs are being met by you in that role. Sexually, as you said, he doesn’t want it.
My concern is for you. You didn’t sign up for this, and why hasn’t this man been to see someone? Variables going on here, ones you haven’t disclosed.

45

Hugs to you Persephone. Do what you got to do to stay sane.

46

Lava @43, Dungeons and Dragons. It's a role-playing game. "Dungeon" has no BDSM connotation here.

47

I took "D&D" to be Dungeons & Dragons. Seems to fit. I know there's something happening but I don't know what it is.

48

@42 "no one else really gives a shit about my elaborate hate-fuck sessions"

Hey now let's not be too hasty

49

phascogale @48 - lol, so true! Here's a hand raised to hear more about drjones's elaborate hate-fuck sessions.

Persephone @28 & 31
Cheating is a fluid word that means different things to different people. But clearly you're lying to your husband and hiding a big part of yourself. In the long run, do you want him to know who you are, or would you prefer he never find out?

50

@42 and i, for one, would like to hear a little more about your eladrin bladesinger wizard.i mean shit, what are your go to spells?