Dang, Matthew Lang! You’re fucking hot.


Hmm, Johnson, it seems they can't sympathize with the undocumented after all.

No worries, Maxwell! I found someone with whom they can!

Oh, geez. Anyone got a spray bottle handy?

I had a wonderful fucking dream last night about making pizza in the future in post meltdown Antarctica.


You may need to develop a new plan for your life.
Generous Free Stuff is on the way, but evidently not enough to suit your wants;
yeah, you need a new business/life model stat.


And by "Families Like Mine " you mean you and your roommate?
Another grown-ass man?
You know, there are actual 'families', with kids, out there that really need help...


It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Right now tens of millions of Americans are experiencing what tens of millions of Americans have always experienced - unable to pay rent due to one simple "disaster" (an unexpected medical bill, a car that needs repairing, job insecurity due to never knowing how many hours they would work, insufficient income, food insecurity, etc. etc. etc) Though NOW instead of the tens of millions NOW experiencing this being expected to "pull themselves up from their bootstraps and figure it out," being vilified and demonized for situations completely out of their control, and just deal with the unmitigated stress and fear that comes with daily living, everyone expects to be helped.

Huh It's like overnight everyone who was so pro-capitalism, anti-socialism, and smug as fuck when poor people, homeless people, and those with horrific life circumstances got in the way of them living their perfect lives have become socialists. NOW people expect the government, that is totally corrupt and has been robbing the people of the country blind for decades (actually centuries) to help them out. The government that is 100% responsible for the situation in which they now find themselves. The same people who have said over and over that those who need help in this country just aren't trying hard enough and deserve what they get. Those who have stepped over the homeless, ignored the working poor, pretended that those without health care or whatever they didn't have deserved their fate and were in no way "their problem." Fascinating.

How many people have told people to get a real job and then they wouldn't be poor?
(Like, oh, i don't know, everyone who works in a grocery store who is NOW considered a front line, essential worker, but so many believed their work was so menial they certainly didn't deserve $15/hr wages or health care or steady schedules or anything else offered by the "real jobs").
How many people now facing the possibility of being put out of their homes and being not just homeless, but jobless, vilified and denigrated the homeless and said over and over again how revolting they are, destroying "my city," responsible for their own circumstances, WANT to be homeless?

It's pretty eye opening to see how deep the hypocrisy runs in this country. I personally don't believe it is even remotely possible for every landlord to evict every non-paying tenant or for everyone owed money to sue those who owe them and get their money. The financial fallout is too deep and too vast for it to happen. Is this country really going to force a third or more of its population to be homeless and jobless (on top of those who already are)? Is this country really going to be able to do that? I don't think so, but I also concede I could be 100% wrong. The people who are responsible for this crisis have no intent on fixing it. They are using the crisis to commit more crimes and take more from the people in this country than they ever imagined would be possible.

Nihilism is real and it is happening right before your eyes. If you survive the pandemic and the fallout that follows (which despite all of the crowing about a quick snap back will take years and years of recovery), will you be different? Will you treat others differently? Will you vote differently? Will you fight for those who are poor and homeless and have no options or will you get yours and get back what you had before and return to making sure those who are still in horrific circumstances are "othered" to make sure you are nothing like them?

What is happening right now and how we as a collective respond to it will determine whether this country recovers or is destroyed by those currently in power at the expense of all others.


Nobody should have to pay for Nuthin.
cause they don't want to.
And Times are Tough.
Why don't people see that?
Everybody needs Free Stuff.


@1 - Yeah, and probably weary of unsophisticated cat call comments like yours.


But he was already on the edge before the virus,
and 'fair' or not the virus is part of the new landscape.
If Matthew is already on his knees begging when the first rent check is due is really needs to re-evaluate his life.



In fairness, "on his knees begging" is not really accurate.
"In our faces demanding" is more like it.

Unemployment? (although as a self-employed business person I've never paid a penny into unemployment for myself...)


Give me free rent.


Only rich people get free stuff, like the trust fund kid we elected because “he gets me”. So if you want free stuff you should have made different choices. Like what vagina you came out of, shoulda chose a better one.


@5 xina - what do you suggest? You concede that not all people who owe money are going to be able to pay, even if a court judgment is secured against them.

That’s the same question I have for Matthew Lang - is he really going to be able to pay back 6 months of back rent with a payment plan, especially while current rent is still accruing? Why should landlords have to carry that interest-free loan plus the current accruing rent for an additional 12-18 months for a non-paying tenant?

Another flaw: Why is this being offered across the board so that even those who are still working can get a rent holiday? It should be targeted at those who are actually hurting in this economy the way that rental assistance can be.

The city needs to pony up and provide that crucial rental assistance before they go hitting up the small time mom & pops in this town. It may sound awesome to have the housing market collapse until you realize that means the renter will be homeless anyway and the property gets swallowed up by a “don’t care” corporation. Rental assistance helps everyone stay afloat.


The inaccurate headline writer might want to read the article again. Nowhere does Matthew mention having a family. It’s just himself and his roommate.


@ 5,

Every word you wrote is so true it’s heartbreaking.

People in our society totally lack empathy, decency, and are hostile towards others. No wonder we’re going to collapse.

Unfortunately, the depraved, insatiable greed of the 1% and the sociopathic racist hatred that they exploit to stay in power are the only two forces in this country that are real.

They’d happily murder every last one of us for another dollar for themselves; that’s America’s legacy.


OMG I love redheads.



Of course he is. Look at him. You think his landlord looks any better than that? This man is far hotter than you’ll ever be. Just look at those eyes. That hair. That beautiful face. Holy fucking shit this man is beautiful. We can’t let someone that beautiful go homeless or hungry.


@14 I don't pretend to have an answer. What do I imagine? Tens of millions of people (if not a hundred million or more) being allowed to remain in their homes and have debts forgiven because there will be, literally, no possible way for that money to be made up and paid back. Not in this lifetime.

There is a movement among people who do not need the stimulus check to donate it to people who do (which my mother will do when she receives her $1200). There are celebrities donating large sums of money here and there. There are people working hard to help people on the front lines. There are people working hard to help people who are hungry get fed. There are hotels taking in the homeless to house them through this crisis. But relying on a total random non-system of philanthropy at this time is not going to solve the larger issues. Small acts of kindness by many are significant and should not be minimized and yet at the same time we need real, radical, systemic change at such a fundamental and ideological level, it does not seem that people in general (and people in this country specifically) are capable of demanding it, let alone creating it and forging a new reality.

What do I imagine? Total and complete destruction of our society and continued depraved indifference to all life by those in power so they may take all of the wealth and ??? what I have no idea. They seem to have no end game other than destroy everything and take all of the money. Do they think they will be magically transported to another world where they will not face the wrath of desperate people or have to continue living on a destroyed planet they purposely defiled and made unlivable?

And I agree that the way this is being addressed by our government(s) is insufficient and extremely poorly managed. There ARE people who can pay their bills and who have not lost their jobs (or they already do not work, the retired, etc.) But just as not one wealthy person who rails against social security and medicare and socialism has ever refused their government check when their time comes, this is about everyone believing if the government is doling out money, why not take theirs?

The governments (federal, state, and local) should be helping those who need it from the bottom up and that is not happening and it won't happen. The system is not designed that way. Too many people will be forgotten and left out and others will get theirs and not care.
This country worships capitalism, by its very design a system of exploitation of the many for the benefit of the few. The people in power have spent decades destroying the government to prove it doesn't work and now when people expect it to work for them it is a shit show of epic proportion. And as the crisis gets worse, how it is managed by those people are looking to to mange it will become more and more dysfunctional and inefficient. And Trump and all who aid and abet him are going to rob the country blind of hundreds of billions of dollars (Trump firing all oversight and the GOP reps doing NOTHING about it is proof positive).

The truth for me personally is that I will be dead before this is over (and i mean fully over - vaccination, recovery, change if any, that comes or the destruction that comes if change does not). I will never know what happens, but at the same time if what I fear is coming actually happens, I am happy I will be dead and gone and not have to live through it or witness it. Being able to see a brand new world is not in the cards for me, even if it comes, so feeling sad about that is meaningless. If I were the betting type, though, I wouldn't bet on it. Humans never seem to learn, no matter how many opportunities they are given to do so.



The reason rent is at the forefront of people's consciousness right now is because it's far and away the largest basic living expenditure that people are responsible for. Of course folks are also concerned about food and other bills, but a $50 grocery store trip to procure a couple weeks worth of necessities is going to be exponentially easier to budget for, and so naturally take a back seat to a $500-1,0000 rent payment.

Did you really somehow need to have this explained to you? How incredibly sad and embarrassing that must be.



And what if everything WAS free? Would your life be better or worse as a result?


@26 Probably worse as it would require everyone produce at gunpoint.



My first thought was borderline retarded.

Then I remembered this is Michael Lang, radical hobo activist who likes to create druggie camps in Wallingford. I'm sure he'll enjoy living in one of his creations sleeping with one eye open.


I like to write social policy with my penis. If you make me horny, you get to live. This man makes me extremely horny. On that basis alone, he should become President.


@31 I've yet to hear of anyone who doesn't make you horny, other than boomers (though the jury is still out even on that one), so on that note I'd say we're all pretty secure until you master your man to hand relationship.



Unfortunately, I have a prehensile penis. For his reason, I rarely use my hands for things.


Whenever I have a cringe attack and think about all the stupid harebrained things I've written on Slog and realize I couldn't dig my hole deeper in embarrassment if I tried, I just remember the musings of Wandering Star and I'm instantly relieved.


Things have been messed up for less than a month. You've missed your rent by nine days. And you need Big Mommy Government to jump right in. The congress has a variety of plans to make sure people like you get more income, some are finalized and even passed and signed in to law. I'm fairly certain you fall in to one or more. In the meantime, you probably can't be evicted until you're 90 days behind. At this point you're on Day 9. Relax.



When I said I write social policy with my penis, I meant that quite literally.


Damn son, you get $750/week on unemployment in WA state. Another $600 a week starting soon with extra federal dollars. If that and your fancy college degree can save you white boy, the problem may be you.


Matthew should go door to door in the neighborhoods he situated homeless camps in and ask for help. I'm sure they'd love to see him.


I find your pathetic plea for free stuff, after you like to personally shame others for opposing vagrant camps in their neighborhoods, rather funny.

Maybe you need to spend some time in those camps you advocate for, huh sparky?


Hey Matt, I know your the spokesperson for Transit Riders Union and you're supposed to hate on cars. But you have a car, right? We all know you don't lug around all your "movement"equipment on the bus.

So how about, instead of setting up vagrant camps where they're not wanted and whining that you're entitled to have mommy government and those evil landlords take care if your needs, you take your car and start driving for say, Amazon Flex or Instacart?

I know, I know. That would require you to actually work for your money.


plus you could live in the car.
rent problem solved!!


Holy Christ.

The amount of people screaming out some variation of Bootstraps on this comment thread is depressing as fuck.

If you're still employed, you're just fucking lucky. And you may not be next week.


In consulting publicly available information, your academy was created on December 4th of 2019 and the posts on the associated FB page seem to support that timeline. Seems a bit disingenuous to speak as if you've been operating for a year or more (in talking about "seasons"), let alone calling yourself a small business owner in the context of requiring bailout money for lack of revenue. Hard to believe you had much revenue before this whole situation arose given how much time had elapsed since you started.

I get that you're struggling, lots of people are, but the time you spent writing this article could have been used applying to a different job that likely would have started you in a matter of days if hired and possibly allowed you to make rent for April, especially as you have government money coming your way in the form of the stimulus. I almost get the sense that you think you're better than that and believe that you making this plea (which will ultimately do nothing, regardless of whose ear you have access to) is likely to advance your situation further than if you were to just apply for that job.


Matt Lang is pearl-clutching. Lots of people hiring out there. Suck it up, get a job and you can relaunch your parkour-for-pre-pubescents dream when things settle down.

Please wait...

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