Here's What's Going to Happen

The Stranger predicts the future.

Comments

1

rose or White Claw?
Yeech! We have fallen on hard times!

2

"I’d like you to envision a brain
free of wrinkles; small, pink,
reptilian, uncomplicated."

You mean
Your brain
on FOX?

3

I predict a "baby boomlet". I believe a lot of cohabbing or married straight couples will find the time to "do the deed" more after spending much more unexpected time together during home shelter.

We'll see.

4

"America was built on grifters, hoaxers, and bullshitters of all kinds . . . The Food and Drug Administration has already had to warn Alex Jones to stop 'advertising dubious dietary supplements as coronavirus treatments,' according to The Daily Beast, and they've sent similar letters to 37 other companies since the beginning of March."

Well, yeah, Maybe, but WE have fully-Exempt potions sellers, spell casters and 'doktor' Nelson et alls running their very own multi-Billions dollar ad campaignscumscams, right Under the Stranger's very nose. So the Ha-Ha's on y'alls.

5

I was going with Covenials, but Doomers is fine.

6

"Right now, this is our moment to connect every family," [state Superintendent of Public Instruction Chris] Reykdal said, "and [make] it as much of a right to be connected as clean water.”

Too bad Repubs want “clean” water priced like grades of Gasoline:
Pristine
CLEAN
Clean
‘clean’
and Klean.

Nah – the Citiznery, such as it is, is here SOLELY to Serve the Billionaire’s Pocketbooks, fight in their uncountable, nevereverEnding Wars or wipe their collective asses. Haven’t you listened to Corporate TeeVee? It’s messge is Clear: Buy Our Shit.
&
"Bidets are here to stay. Toilet paper is clearly canceled." —N.G.

Then WHY is my Garage
stacked To The Rafters?

Ever slept on (new) [ew] Charmin?
Well I have.

7

Rich, the Doomers boring their grandchildren was hilarious. Reminds me of being bored as a little kid listening to my grandparents whine about the Great Depression.

Charles, you're probably right about flying and local vacations. I used to fly somewhat frequently, at least 1-2 times a year for decades. I have no intention of getting on another plane until there's a vaccine. Flying will come back eventually, but not for at least a year or two.

8

Oooo, since you didn’t include Katie Herzog, can we create her predictions? I’ll go first!

“While it’s popular to dismiss the current protesters as small-minded death cult fanatics, you are not listening to their very real concerns. Some of them strongly identify with their buzz cuts, and feel like gross transgenders without them; this quarantine is forcing them out of their proud gender conforming, independent identities. Forcing a internet free-thinker to have long hair is denying them their identity, branding them much like the stars on Jews during the holocaust (if that even actually happened). This is going to lead to a world where genders are indistinguishable, and barbershops no longer exist - we will all be forced to go to hair salons.”

9

@8 Well done!

10

It will be difficult for Trump to become a supplement kingpin from his cell in the New York State prison system.

11

@3 and @7 are correct. But, then, so is @10.

12

@4 kristofarian: Trumpty Dumpty is already te reaigning King of Snake Oil, Smoke, and Mirrors.
@7 Reverse Polarity: I remember my mother saying, as a little girl what a big deal it was to split a five-cent (!!) candy bar in equal thirds between herself, my grandmother, and aunt. Agreed; I'm not flying anywhere, either.
@10 Swiftress: And while Trumpty Dumpty rots, quarantined in New York State prison after testing positive for TRUMPVID-19. No bailout money for Trumpty Dumpty, either--nobody has any money--not even the Big Banksters.
@11 Will in Seattle: Agreed and seconded.

13

I'd travel in a heartbeat myself. In the meantime though, starting a list of places to watch for amusement. The Stranger will now be added to the "Covie Covid" comics I found recently, https://crisiscomic.wordpress.com/covid-19-comics/#TV

14

8, looks like the stranger’s 2nd most hated writer has been let go

15

I really, really hate Mudede's take on public transit v. cars because it's just awful and probably bang-on. Dammit.