Two dams burst from record rainfall. Talk about a doozy.
Two dams burst from record rainfall. Talk about a doozy. Joshua Lott / Getty Images

National Guard gets screwed: By Trump. The president is planning on ending National Guard deployment right before their benefits kick in. You see the National Guard has a sweet deal where if they are deployed under federal orders for at least 90 days they get early retirement and some money for a college education. That 90-day mark is in late June for the Washington National Guard. Trump wants to end deployment right before that point. Brutal.

American authorities are deporting hundreds of migrant children: Around 900 migrant children and teenagers have been swiftly deported by the U.S in the span of two months. This is a stark reversal of the way the U.S. has always treated young migrants—typically they receive shelter, education, medical care, and a chance to make their case for staying in the U.S. Not anymore. Trump is using the pandemic as cover to protect the border from the "threat of disease." That, I guess, excuses him from putting children on planes without making sure where they're going is safe or without even notifying their families.

Wildfire season is already here: Sorry to add another thing to your "Things to Worry About" list but wildfire season this year could be a doozy. There have already been 296 wildfires in Washington this year. Around 25 percent were west of the Cascades. Typically, the average by May is around 103 wildfires. Hilary Franz, Commissioner of Public Lands, and her team of Washington state firefighters are already planning for a tough wildfire season but now have to factor in how to do that during a global pandemic.

Chaos at "Go Topless Jeep Weekend": The raucous weekend event on the Bolivar Peninsula in Texas got out of hand when a shooting broke out. Two men were shot. Around 1,000 people showed up for the event. Nearly 200 were arrested. It'll be interesting to see that county's infection rate in two weeks. If you're not sure what "Go Topless Jeep Weekend" is all about, here's this video:

Gyms open in defiance, then close after retaliation: Power Alley Fitness in Arlington and Northwest Fitness Company in Puyallup reopened in protest of the governor's orders. They were threatened with $2,000 fines for violation of the Consumer Protection Act. The gyms will be closing down again.

Wet days ahead: Rain, rain, go away.

Michigan dams burst: The region around Midland County, Michigan has received 260 percent of normal rainfall so far in May. Last night, two dams burst. Downtown Midland could be under 9 feet of water this afternoon, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer said last night while declaring a state of emergency for the county.

Meanwhile, Trump is threatening to withhold funds from Michigan: If the state expands vote-by-mail options. He yelled about it on Twitter.

Operation Varsity Blues mom gets sentenced: A mom who paid $400,000 to get her son into UCLA as a soccer recruit has been sentenced to five months in jail and ordered to pay a $250,000 fine. Her son did not play soccer. The mom agreed to plead guilty in February. The parents embroiled in this scandal that have maintained not guilty pleas (looking at you Lori Laughlin) have yet to be tried.

This timeline is so weird: North Korea calls it irresponsible for countries that ignored coronavirus warnings to blame WHO.

A Snohomish barber has also opened: Bob Martin has had his shop, Stag Barber & Styling, open in defiance of Inslee's stay-home order since May 1. In that time, he's had his cosmetology operator license suspended and was threatened for doing business without a shop license since his reportedly expired in 2017. He was also threatened by the Attorney General with a potential Consumer Protection Act violation. Martin is still open.

Singapore just: Sentenced a man to death via Zoom.

Porn star Ron Jeremy speaks for the trees: The tree-hugging coalition has found a new ally. Ron Jeremy, the pornstar whose nickname is "The Hedgehog." Jeremy is trying to save the tree outside his family home in Queens from being torn down. Should I send him a link to the Tree Murder Song?

Ominous: The Willis Tower (formerly the Sears Tower) lost power due to flooding last night. Which supervillain is quarantining here?

Have you lost your cat? He might be on Capitol Hill.