Comments

1

/sounds right/

Dow Skyrockets After Coronavirus Begins Trading On New York Stock Exchange

"NEW YORK—With investors highly bullish about the long-term prospects of the respiratory virus, market reports confirmed Friday the Dow Jones Industrial Average skyrocketed nearly 400 points after the novel coronavirus began trading on the New York Stock Exchange. “Following its initial public offering, this coronavirus has become the hot new thing on Wall Street, and you can bet everyone will be getting a piece of it soon if they haven’t already,” said Darya Abbas, an analyst at Zacks Investment Research."

https://www.theonion.com/dow-skyrockets-after-coronavirus-begins-trading-on-new-1844651298

2

It really says something that in photos of police attacking, beating, and gassing protestors, you can’t tell if it’s happening in Portland or Beirut.

3

Darn, that Bend Oregon video cuts off right after "suck my".

5

So Herman Cain's family is just as awful as he was? Figures. Inherited wealth make for rich idiots.

8

If I was a twitter-er, I'd create the "undead Herman Cain" user profile, if it's not already been done (and I'm sure it has by now.) Gotta be a good amount of satirical comedic potential there.

9

Wait'll Ivanka inherits not only Daddy's Vast Wealth (10 Billion$! (in the hole?) and his utteerly-Failed "presidency."

15¢ – ‘A small price to pay for exposing yourself to COVID, don't you think?’

Why, Reptilicans’ll scream bloody Murder for such bargain-baement prices. Don’t forget trumpf’s Nuremberg Rallies, folks. Remember, there’s No Admissin fees! Happy COVID, ralliers.

10

whotf Edits this shite?

12

Zombie Herman Cain is only the beginning. Imagine all the other Trump rally attendees who will achieve zombie status in coming months.

13

Slowing the mail down will slow down Trump's votes as much as Biden's. It hurts Biden more in the large cities, but probably Trump more in rural areas. Given a very energized democratic party, I just don't see how it helps Trump that much.

15

A live Herman Cain account means it's not being disrespectful of the dead to reply with "fuck you, Herman Cain."

16

@13: Voter suppression always helps the side that has less popular ideas (Republicans), because it decreases the margin by which people vote against their ideas. It's basic math. Also, voter suppression in this country tends to more adversely affect marginalized populations for a variety of systemic reasons, and those groups more broadly support Democrats. I'm not sure how you didn't know all this already, but now you do.

17

@13 There's a strong partisan valence in the reported intentions of voters with Democrats leaning heavily towards mail, and Republicans leaning heavily towards in-person. So the grimdark future is that on the day after election, Trump is ahead, but the mail-in ballots are trending to the Democrats. At that point, Trump launches an army of lawyers to halt or gum up processing of mail-in ballots and throws everything into turmoil. And from there, he makes some kind of quasi-legal power grab abetted by the Supreme Court.

Its totally plausible - a repeat of Bush v Gore at the national scale.

18

@16:

"I'm not sure how you don't know all this already" - dude, remember to whom you're talking...

19

@16: Yes, but the basic math also requires evaluating the quickly changing variables, e.g. more energized opposition and the points blip (@14) said.

20

Holy shit. So somewhere from the dead there's a sinister Mafia Don Godfather's voice, saying, "DO it!" ?? It figures. Hell's so overpopulated by RepubliKKKans, the Devil is sending them back in Zombie Apocalypse format.
Bill Murray was right.....this won't end well.

Fuck YOU, Trumpty Dumpty ad nauseum, I'm still voting Democrat anyway.
Go, 2020 VP choice, Kamala Harris--kick ass and take NAMES!
May the GOP go permanently down in flames, never to return.
The Err of Trump can take its lawyers, enablers, lobbyists, bimbos and heirs with it.

21

@ 20,

GOP Crisis Corpses

22

Good write-up, Jasmyne.

23

@8: If you are able to claim it (you're right, it's almost certainly already scooped up, but if not...) and make sure you solemnly quote the lyrics to the Pokemon Movie's theme song as a form of haunting. It's what Herman Cain would have wanted.

25

Weekend at Herman's.

26

@24 Someone should tell the commenter on that article that the recall petition is coming at Durkan from the left and not from the right. I wonder if he'd change his tune.

28

Yes, the pandemic is nothing but a web developer's convoluted ploy to drive traffic to left leaning alt-weekly blog posts.

Eat shit, you stupid, stupid fuck.

29

We are all Herman Cain in Donald Trump's America.

30

As I recall, Godfather Pizza wasn't bad. I remember the one on Broadway.

31

his pizza pie was
not nearly as good
as the box it came in.
three outta five

for the box.

32

@31 kristofarian: And the box most likely had more nutritional value, too.

33

I hear Herman Cain is voting absentee for Trump in the November election.

34

And yet Trump requested his vote by mail ballot from Florida today. The House should impeach him again for his fuckery with the USPS.

Meanwhile the Senate went on vacation until mid-September, because they clearly have nothing to do.

Trump did not answer when questioned if he regrets all of the lies he has told the American people. I'll take that as a resounding NO. Why should the resident of the White House be allowed to lie to the people he works for in the name of maintaining his power? He needs to be forcibly removed and exterminated. He is a traitor and the only acceptable punishment for his crimes against the American people is execution.

35

While 'extermination' is a Harsh term, might it be fitting?

Local boy Tim Egan in today's NYT: "Trump owns this failure. We are a pariah nation, shunned and pitied, unable to travel outside our borders, prisoners of his fatal malfeasance.

Some of you have excused this president’s incompetence, his quackery, his buffoonery, his vile character, his consistent insults of women, minorities, the free press, the courts — so long as it was just the daily respiration of a narcissist.

But we know now, and you must never forget, that his ignorance is lethal."

More on the Moron-in-chief at:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/14/opinion/kamala-harris-trump.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage

36

Okay, one more from Egan: "His attack on the Postal Service, if successful, is not just an attempt to break this democracy, but could also deprive many of you from getting your lifesaving meds on time."

Life or Death?

Yours? trumpfy Don't fucking Care.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/14/opinion/kamala-harris-trump.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage


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