Somebody raided Sen. Phil Fortunatos garage.
Somebody raided Sen. Phil Fortunato's garage. Screenshot

I don't normally flag local Republican fundraisers, but I gotta admit the gettin' is looking pretty good at the King County Republican Party's Virtual Liberty Dinner & Auction, presented by the National Electrical Contractors Association, which has, incidentally, dropped $141,750 on Republican politicians and PACs so far this year.

You could spend a month straight scouring local truck stops and still not come up with swag this hot.

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Just look at that decoy duck. I’d watch Phil Fortunato skeet shoot $1,000 plates while screaming about Comrade Inslee and his goose-stepping Democrats for hours just to get my hands on that wooden fowl.

And you can have your pumpkin spice lattes, I'll take a crisp autumn day at the range with failed Seattle City Council candidate Ari Hoffman, please and thank you. The ungrammatical copy on the card makes it difficult to determine whether a "former Israeli defense commando" will join the outing or whether Hoffman is that commando, but I'm sure he doesn't mind the confusion, and neither do I!

And who wouldn't want a print of a thermonuclear portrait of the President brightening his man cave??? Especially one produced by a "Seattle and St. Paul Minnesota" artist who is terrible at painting mouths.

Anyway, I wonder if Sen. Mark Mullet will log on tomorrow evening and thank them for whatever hand they had in the 5th Legislative Republican's decision to endorse him over Ingrid Anderson in the State Senate race. If you end up tuning in, let me know!

This trumpkin is scary enough. Please vote.
Then score some dank herb from Ruckus to help with the stress.