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Jess Stein

"Masturbation Check!"
Spotted on Olive Way.
Spotted on Olive Way. JK
Before you take care of others, please make sure to take care of yourself.

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"I've Been Screened"
It is Wednesday.
It is Wednesday. JK
A little birdy told me that these stickers come from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. I know they are a sign of someone who has been tested and given the all-clear, but something about them feels a bit apocalyptic.

"When We Say Abolish"
Love the gradient.
Love the gradient. JK
I would love to see more purple-blue pastel stickers calling for police and prison abolition.

"Fucky Wucky"
This sticker is unhinged.
This sticker is unhinged. JK
I've been made aware that this sticker is actually a meme. I'm pretty sure this one, the "Masturbation Check!" one above, and the "All My Homies Fuck Gay People" sticker from last week were all printed out and pasted around town by the same person. Prove me wrong.

"Not a Contest"
Surely made during the first part of quarantine.
Surely made during the first part of quarantine. JK
Please oh please, bring back the early days of Stay Home, Stay Healthy, when the only tragedy was my inability to write the Great American Novel and not witnessing the democratic process being ripped apart at its seams (though to be fair, that was happening then, too).

"In Memoriam"
Light a little candle.
Light a little candle. JK
My lips hath never tast'd the delights of Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes. And they never will.

"Destroy"
I cant remember where I spotted this one, but it took me a few tries to capture.
I can't remember where I spotted this one, but it took me a few tries to capture. JK
Having a hard time figuring this one out. Is he inhaling a cigarette?

"Vulnerability Is Strength"
Okaaay.
Okaaay. JK
I mean, this message isn't wrong, it's just sort of annoying.

"The Funniest People..."
Its true.
It's true. JK
Why does this sound like a threat? Or is that just me?

"Aldous Huxley"
Pause to read.
Pause to read. JK
I've seen this one around the Hill a lot but have neglected to stand in the street and read all the text until now. If you're interested, you should really get the book.

As always, if any of these stickers belong to you, please e-mail me at jkeimig@thestranger.com.

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