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The slopes are opening next month. Après ski, get a fuckin COVID-19 test.
The slopes are opening next month. Après ski, get a fuckin COVID-19 test. Luca Sage / GETTY IMAGES

Yes, the mics can be muted Thursday: The Commission on Presidential Debates will mute President Trump's and Joe Biden's microphones during parts of the debate when each candidate will be given two minutes to speak uninterrupted, CNN reports.

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The U.S. Department of Justice brings antitrust lawsuit against Google: The DOJ thinks Google maintains "an illegal monopoly over search and search advertising" largely through exclusive contracting, the New York Times reports, and so they're trying to bring down the hammer. Attorney general and evil Barney Rubble clone Bill Barr pushed for the suit behind the scenes, though the lawsuit also follows some intense House Judiciary meetings where Democrats called for some good ol' fashioned trustbusting. "The lawsuit may stretch on for years and could set off a cascade of other antitrust lawsuits from state attorneys general," the Times adds.

Amazon workers want paid time off to vote: On Saturday Amazon Employees for Climate Justice rallied about 100 people outside Bezos's balls to demand the company give all workers time off to vote, Geekwire reports. An internal petition supporting the idea "has been signed by more than 6,000 employees." Given how much the trillion-dollar company dumps into local elections, it's the least they could do.

Yeah, same:

Thanks to a tie: Pennsylvania can count mail-in ballots received up to three days after election, according to the Washington Post. The state changed its rules in response to the pandemic, and the Supreme Court tied on a Republican request to stop that change. The tie means the Republican effort failed, and it suggests Amy Coney Barrett will cast the deciding vote in future election-related rulings. What a thrill.

BABKA-CHALLAH MASHUP. IT'S CALLED BABKALLAH: Claire Saffitz's book, Dessert Person, comes out today.

Migrant farm workers on lockdown: In Virginia, a farm has ordered its crews to stay in the fields or in the camps where they live, with few exceptions. From the New York Times:

The restrictions have allowed Lipman’s tomato operations to run smoothly, with a substantially lower caseload than many farms and processing facilities across the country that have wrestled to contain large outbreaks. But they have caused some workers to complain that their worksite has become like a prison. In Virginia, gone are the weekly outings to Walmart to stock up on provisions; to El Ranchito, the Mexican convenience store, to buy shell-shaped concha pastries; and to the laundromat to machine wash heavily soiled garments.

The company can impose these limitations because workers "are beholden to the company for their visa, housing and wages."

Biden's tax plan: Under the plan, the effective tax rate for the top 1% would increase from 26.8% to 39.8%. CNBC explains the plan. That rate runs a little baby smidgen higher than the top marginal rate during Clinton's presidency.

I think they taste like hard, wet shoelaces: But scientists say eating jellyfish is more sustainable than eating fish-fish due to the fact that they're all basically clones. "When you take a jellyfish out of the ecosystem, its genetic identity lives on," marine biologist Lisa-ann Gershwin told the BBC. "It's kind of like taking an apple from a tree...Jellyfish are more like apples."

The flooding in Vietnam: Is bad. "Flooding and landslides this month have killed over 100 people, many of them soldiers, and left dozens more missing," reports the BBC.

Senate Republicans don't like Trump's negotiating strategy on the stimulus: They're "cringing," Politico reports, and trying to signal to the President that they want to keep the focus on the confirmation of Amy Coney Barrett instead of negotiations for another relief bill. Some worry division within the party could hurt Republicans on the ballot. Negotiations are more or less where they've been for a while now: Pelosi wants $2 trillion, the President/Mnuchin keep wanting to get the President a legislative win before the election, and Senate Republicans want none of it because apparently being responsible for the suffering of millions of Americans helps them maintain power in the Senate.

The Dude has been diagnosed with lymphoma: Sucks.

The Zoom dick incident happened during an election simulation of some kind?????? That’s according to two people who spoke to Vice. Both people said "they saw Toobin jerking off" during a "strategy session" in the middle of an "election simulation." Toobin was reportedly "on a second video call" during the down time. "The sources said that when the groups returned from their break out rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his penis. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see, and the simulation continued." Whomst among us hasn't gotten caught on Zoom masturbating during an election simulation etc, etc. #MeToobin is trending on twitter but I refuse to click it.

Stop trying to sneak into Canada through the "Alaska Loophole": The U.S./Canada border restrictions will now last through Nov. 21. So far, "at least six Americans have been busted in British Columbia and fined up to $1,000" for crossing, King 5 reports.

Ski resorts will reopen: Crystal Mountain plans to open Nov. 20, and other mountains such as Mount Baker and Stevens Pass plan will open later in November and in December, reports the local Fox affiliate. COVID precautions will include reservation systems, mask requirements, and cashless transactions. So enjoy the fresh pow, brah, but don't sit elbow-to-elbow in the lodge with 300 of your closest snow bunnies, and try to avoid duck-walking too close to older people in the locker room, and okay now I'm running out of ski slang and getting angry about potential outbreaks that prolong this fucking hell, so I'm just going to stop now.

Will Washington hospitals experience a shortage of beds during a COVID-19 surge? Hospitals here have "a lot" of capacity, Dr. Laura Evans, medical director of critical care for UW Medical Center, told the local Sinclair station. Much of that capacity is currently being used for non-COVID patients, experts said.

Former Yakima mayor accused of stealing $30,000 in property from her mother: The former mayor's mother told police she was missing art and other items, including a $1,500 bracelet, KOMO reports.

People fucking love this tall boy:

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Train hits pedestrian in Shoreline: Oy, the person was alert but the extent of their injuries was not immediately known Monday evening, according to KIRO.

SPD exit interviews: KOMO and MyNorthwest report on cops’ exit interview forms, with MyNorthwest reporting they were released by Mayor Jenny Durkan’s office. The comments include things like, "I refuse to work for this socialist city council," "City politics also is non-supportive," and, "The utter lack of supervision, accountability for incompetent, despicable, lazy officers who were really good at gas lighting other hard workers." Asked which factors lowered morale, one officer included "the press."

PACs spending in the 10th CD: In the race for Washington’s 10th Congressional District, the Congressional Progressive Caucus PAC and Medicare for All PAC, both led by Rep. Pramila Jayapal, have together spent $655,000 in support of State Rep. Beth Doglio, according to the Seattle Times. The Congressional Black Caucus PAC and United Food and Commercial Workers union others have spent $140,000 in support of Doglio’s opponent, former Tacoma Mayor Marilyn Strickland. The Service Employees International Union PAC has spent $150,000 advertising against Strickland, and the United Food and Commercial Workers union spent over $190,000 against her, too.

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