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Coming soon to The Villages?
Coming soon to The Villages? Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Washington state will have a new secretary of health: Meet Dr. Umair A. Shah. Dr. Shah will replace Secretary of Health John Wiesman at the end of Gov. Inslee’s second term on January 10, 2021. The move isn't abrupt—Wiesman accepted a faculty position at the University of North Carolina before the pandemic started. Shah is currently the executive director and local health authority for Harris County Public Health in Texas. He'll start working on December 21, and Wiesman will assist the transition until his exit in January.

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Trump just fired Chris Krebs, the director of the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency: The firing is assumed to be retaliation after Krebs "systematically disputed Mr. Trump’s baseless declarations in recent days that the presidency was stolen from him through fraudulent ballots and mysterious software glitches that changed millions of votes," writes the New York Times. Here's Trump's announcement, along with his bullshit.

I'm sure the GOP is watching that firing like 👀: Oh yeah? You wanna call this election "the most secure in American history"? Watch what happens!

At a certain point, elected Republicans have to take their party back from this loser. Right? ...Right?

Presidential LOSER Donald Trump continues his LOSING streak in the courts, with the Pennsylvania Supreme Court shooting down his false claim that ballot counting observers weren't allowed to get close enough to the action. If you want to read and laugh your guts out about how hapless Trump's legal team is, check out this article!


Mariners legend Ken Griffey Jr., and his family, are now Sounders co-owners: Griffey retired from the MLB in 2010 as a 13-time All-Star. His family is now officially Sounders Family.

Washington state reported 2,589 new COVID-19 cases today and 23 new deaths. 777 of those cases were in King County. Today's batch of new coronavirus cases is a record. Our earlier record was set last Sunday, with 2,519 cases reported. "The state has set new records on four of the last five days," notes the Seattle Times. This is terrible.

Meanwhile: Pac-12 football games set to continue despite West Coast travel advisories.

Our surge in coronavirus cases comes as other states across the country are experiencing the same concerning trend—and enacting their own new restrictions: Iowa's governor finally passed a mask mandate (after initially poking fun at masks), and the city of Philadelphia has banned virtually all indoor gatherings through the end of 2020.

Just another reason to say "Thank GOD for Dolly Parton": "Dolly Parton helped fund Moderna's Covid-19 vaccine research."

Governors across the nation are pleading with the federal government to step up with more leadership and especially money to help Americans make it through the winter: Money: Could happen if Mitch McConnell gets out of the way (doubt that... see below). Leadership: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA... right.

Instead of helping Americans through this crisis, Senate Majority Turtle Mitch McConnell is focused on shoving as many Trump appointees into place before Biden arrives in January: However one of these controversial appointees—Judy Shelton, who's been nominated to lead the Federal Reserve even though she DESPISES the Federal Reserve—was stalled today when Republicans didn't have enough votes because of members who are in COVID quarantine.

SEXBOT UPDATE: A newly published paper in the Journal of Medical Ethics suggests sex robots could be great for the elderly. "Designing and marketing sex robots for older, disabled people would represent a sea change from current practice," wrote the Seattle professor behind the study, Nancy Jecker. "The reason to do it is to support human dignity and to take seriously the claims of those whose sexuality is diminished by disability or isolation. Society needs to make reasonable efforts to help them." Here's Nancy:

Um, this house on Vashon Island has a David Bowie pool.

Today in "It was worse than you thought" news: "About 90,000 sex abuse claims filed in Boy Scouts bankruptcy."

TOMORROW NIGHT on Wednesday, November 18, it's the latest I, ANONYMOUS SHOW featuring the wildest anonymous confessions and rants, with hilarious comedy from Amy Miller, Adam Pasi, and Carla Rossi! GET THOSE TICKETS NOW!

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Here is every American in a nutshell:

Two Georgia counties found some uncounted votes: Fayette County, just south of Atlanta, and Floyd County, in north Georgia, found around 2,755 votes and 2,500 votes, respectively. The votes were loaded onto a memory card but ultimately unscanned. "Both counties will have to recertify their results," reports AP, "and the margin between Trump and Biden will be about 13,000 votes when those previously uncounted votes are accounted for." Georgia counties are in the middle of a hand recount. They have until 11:59 p.m. Wednesday to complete the count. Then, the results of the hand count will be certified. If the final, certified total has a margin between the candidates within 0.5%, the losing campaign can request a recount.

Here's something to get excited about: Check out for a few minutes and watch this unbridled smooth-brained sluttery. Slag Wars is the search for the next great cock destroyer, and it's what's going to get me through the rest of this year.