Donald, please come get your greasy lawyer.
Donald, please come get your greasy lawyer. Drew Angerer/Getty Images

Joe Biden (still) wins Georgia: Georgia finished its risk-limiting audit, the process Georgia's Secretary of State required to essentially double-check the presidential election results. According to the audit, Biden is still the winner of Georgia. The audit consisted of "159 counties examining 41,881 batches of ballots in less than six days," according to GPB News. The vote count varied by about a tenth of a percent, dropping Biden's victory margin from around 14,000 to 13,000 after "four counties discovered ballots that were not scanned or uploaded properly." The Trump campaign will likely request a recount.

A COVID-19 curfew in California: Gov. Gavin Newsom announced a mandatory overnight stay-home order for some of California's most populous counties. The order, which starts Saturday and lasts until Dec. 21, prohibits "most nonessential activity outside the home from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m," the Los Angeles Times reports. Around 94% of Californians live in the counties where the mandate will be implemented.

U.S. reports the most COVID-19 deaths since May 7:

Vice President Mike Pence discussed his task force's "great progress" with COVID-19: Read the room, Mike.

As if the plot to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer couldn't get worse: Federal and Michigan state authorities reported the 14 men charged in the plot to kidnap Whitmer had more plans than the kidnapping. The second plan was to take over the capitol building with 200 "combatants" and "stage a week-long series of televised executions of public officials." The third plan was to burn down the statehouse and kill everyone inside.

Before you blaspheme the Seattle City Council: Take a minute to appreciate that our city council isn't the Cincinnati City Council. As of today, three members of Cincinnati's nine-person council have been arrested and indicted on federal bribery and corruption charges. The most recent arrest is Councilmember P.G. Sittenfeld. All of the arrestees are accused of "selling their votes and influence to developers eager to capitalize on the urban revival occurring across the county," reports the Cincinnati Enquirer. The FBI is keeping watch to see if any other council members participate in wrongdoing.

The Kenosha shooter said he used his stimulus money to buy an AR-15: Kyle Rittenhouse, the 17-year-old who killed two men in Kenosha, Wisconsin, said he used his federal coronavirus stimulus check to buy the semi-automatic rifle he used in the shooting. He told this to the Washington Post in his first jailhouse interview. Rittenhouse also told the Post he didn't regret the shooting because he felt he needed to protect himself.

Seattle Symphony cancels concerts: In order to comply with Gov. Jay Inslee's COVID-19 restrictions, the symphony is "suspending all on-site rehearsals and performances for the weeks of November 23, November 30 and December 7," according to a press release.

If only the restaurant industry could be so understanding: The Washington Hospitality Association, which represents about 6,000 people in the restaurant and hospitality industry, wrote a letter to Inslee asking him to reconsider the indoor dining ban he implemented this week.

At least we're not in Ohio (Sorry, if you're reading this in Ohio): Where the Ohio House of Representatives just passed a bill preventing the governor from shutting down businesses during the pandemic. The bill passed 75-11. The bill is heading to the state Senate now. In Ohio, 326,615 people reportedly have had COVID-19 and 5,890 have died.

Trump zeroes in on Michigan: Michigan must certify its election results by Monday. Before that deadline, Trump is inviting Michigan state politicians to meet with him in what seems to be an attempt to stop the certification from happening. According to the New York Times:

Trump allies appear to be pursuing a highly dubious legal theory that if the results are not certified, Republican legislatures could intervene and appoint pro-Trump electors in states Mr. Biden won who would support the president when the Electoral College meets on Dec. 14.

Biden condemned Trump: And called him "one of the most irresponsible presidents in American history," reports the Guardian.

Rudy Giuliani is having a moment: President Donald Trump's personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, led what CNN dubbed a "wild, fact-free press conference" about Trump's case for virulent voter fraud during the election. Giuliani presented outlandish conspiracy theories, such as, for example, a theory about some voting machines using software "created 'at the direction' of former Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to swing his own election results." The voting machine company was of course, Giuliani said without providing any evidence, tied to George Soros and the Clinton Foundation. Giuliani also falsely claimed mail-in ballots were prone to fraud, and that another type of software hacked Trump votes and switched them to Biden votes.

Oh, no he's leaking: Rudy, you forgot to close your gas cap. The New York Times looked into what this dark sweat could be. According to hair dressers, the dark liquid wasn't hair dye. One colorist hypothesized that Giuliani could have "used mascara or a touch-up pen to make sure his sideburns matched the rest."

Trump's attempts to overturn the election are "unprecedented in U.S. history": According to a New York Times report. The article calls Trump's chances of winning the election "somewhere between remote and impossible." Trump's insane hail Mary attempt to take back the election results will have to happen quickly, since most states will certify their results next week and electors cast their votes on Dec. 14.

Four people just returned home from an 8-month, remote ecological project: The pandemic is brand new to them.

A maintenance worker stumbled across a body: Outside an Edmond's College storage facility. Edmonds police suspect the deceased may be a missing Edmonds man since the clothing is similar, KING5 reports.

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Headline of the week: Ben Carson says he used unproven COVID-19 treatment recommended by MyPillow CEO

The Vatican is going to bat with Instagram: The Pope's official Instagram account ~somehow~ liked a scantily clad photo of a Brazilian model. The model's management company reposted the image with the Pope's "like" highlighted and said the company “received the POPE’S OFFICIAL BLESSING." The Vatican is now questioning Instagram about how the Pope's account came to mysteriously like this sexy post.

The Seahawks are playing right now: Maybe they won't lose this time.