Covid-19 exposure notifications enabled on my phone. Great idea, happy to participate.

It has been the highlight of my year to watch Republicans and conservatives fall apart online. "Just wait until Monday! The Kraken will be released! Libs will cry!" for weeks and weeks ... and now the realization slowly begins to dawn. You all played yourselves. The Real Americans in the Heartland don't exist. Most Americans prefer Sleepy Joe. Trump is a scam.
Now we get to watch them scurry and scatter, as all their credibility and integrity has been lost. Fox News is sunk. Thanks for the laughs! Special shout out to the Four Seasons Total Litigation team.

If you enable the COVID Monolith locator on your smartphone or other device, it will inform you when your Chinese spacecraft is within 10 km of the Monolith.

Remember, don't expose your Monolith to bright sunlight.

@2: The real fnny thing about conservatives.... how they have bent over and grabbed their ankles... willing to be butt fucked supporting the 0.1% crowd of oligarchs.. they get pissed off/ in a tizzy about anything progressive... to the point of voting against their interests and pocket books to get crammed up the ass supporting the wellbeing of the 0.1%ers.

All these dumbass sheriffs from Nowhere County who think they can selectively enforce laws just show what happens when you give stupid people a bit of power.

Go ahead, Sheriff Andy. Have a drama fit over the freedumbs of the 20,000 equally slack-jawed yokels who populate your county. No one cares. The sooner the robot farmers take over, the better.

@6: It's Klickitat county. Why do you think disparaging the locals helps your argument? It doesn't of course, it's just an old schtick.

The obese will be the first to get the vaccine? All this time we've been shut-down because fatties with comorbidities can't say no to a twinkie.

@ #2

The Washington Post has taken to giving Fox "news" advice on how to stay relevant, so... maybe there's something to it.

*Then again, the Post's advise is to stop lying so much- which its own writers and editors will never do, even on matters of basic arithmetic, so.....

@10,
You can hardly put all the blame on the fatties for this. People of all stripes can't fucking stay put or be bothered to do something so simple as cover their goddamned face. Partially due to individual obliviousness, but also greatly due to a complete and total absence of any leadership.

Go ahead and give the fatties their doses first, whatever. But no way should any politician, especially any in the cult of donnie, get a vaccine first. They're the fuckers who botched this.

So now we're incentivizing obesity, brilliant. I would think there are many essential individuals who would need that vaccine first like healthcare workers, grocery store workers, construction workers, bus drivers, school staff, janitors, etc.

@13: That's a really sick conflation. Nobody's incentivizing obesity. What, you think all the workers you enumerated have a BMI of 18.5?

While bashing fat people is popular past time of everyone in this country, the CDC decision has not been announced and there are two groups being considered to receive the vaccine first:

The panel is set Tuesday to vote on whether the first group to be vaccinated should be health care workers and residents of nursing homes.

If those two groups are first -- or "Phase 1a" in CDC parlance -- then other high priority groups will have to wait, including people with underlying medical conditions, essential workers such as police officers and firefighters, and elderly people who are not in nursing homes.

Those who don't fit into any of these categories will have to wait even longer, likely until the spring.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/12/01/health/covid-vaccine-cdc-acip-meeting/index.html

Interestingly, there is an article about the obese and the vaccine in Slate today. (Oh and over 43% of Americans are obese, so that would mean nearly half of the population would be prioritized if the obese were given priority for the vaccine).

Why Obese People Should Get COVID-19 Vaccine Priority
https://slate.com/technology/2020/11/covid-19-vaccine-priority-obese-people.html?via=section_features

I think I'll run for Sheriff of my northern Idaho county. The current one is a Trumpian piece of work, so I figure all I have to do is out-Trump him.

I'll make the most unhinged, lunatic whack-job proclamations possible. I'll say shit that makes QAnon look logical and well-reasoned.

I figure I'll win in a landslide.

Raindrop dear, I'll disparage locals all I want. (I'm a part-time Eastern Washingtonian, after all).

If these sheriffs want to interpret the law, they should have gone to law school (fat chance, as most of them are morons. See Loren Culp) If they want to make law, they should run for office (see Dave Reichert). But they are paid to enforce the law. That's it. They need to realize that.

@Morty -- if you're looking for a blueprint, you could do worse than Hunter Thompson's bid for Sheriff of Aspen, Co -- as crazy as he was, and he nearly pulled it off...