He should really be wearing a mask.
He should really be wearing a mask. Volker Nickel / Getty Images

Trump's legal team is dropping like flies: Jenna Ellis, a senior legal advisor to Donald Trump and part of his legal "elite strike-force team," has COVID-19. Ellis is just the latest person close to Trump to contract the virus. Since September, 40 people close to Trump have come down with COVID-19.

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Rudy Giuliani is reportedly receiving the same drug cocktail that doctors gave to the President. Remember the good ol' days when Trump had COVID-19?

Snohomish County's COVID-19 numbers are so bad that health officials have to redraw their graphs to make all the cases fit: The situation in Snohomish County is officially "severe." Currently, there are 428 cases per 100,000 people in the county which is 20 times the level considered "safe," KING 5 reports. For context, during the county's April peak, cases numbered 129 cases per 100,000 people.

Seattle is a bar and restaurant graveyard: According to reporting done by Washington Hospitality Association, a lobbying group, 1,023 restaurants and bars in King County have closed permanently, they're donezo. In Seattle, the WHA found 624 bars and restaurants that are now dead. Statewide 2,327 restaurants have closed. This report from the WHA shows how devastating the coronavirus pandemic has been on the hospitality industry, but WHA is also using this as evidence that Washington shouldn't close indoor dining. Sorry, but we've gotta stop acting like COVID-19 is just going to go away if we wait long enough.

Child maltreatment reports are down: With schools online, no one really has additional eyes on kids to see if they're being neglected. In Washington, child welfare reporting plummeted. From March until a few weeks in June, the statewide agency responsible for investigating child abuse received 87% fewer calls than normal. Throughout the year, according to the Seattle Times, the number of reports are down by 59%. This mirrors national trends where child maltreatment reports are down 40 to 60%.

Steve Jobs's daughter is a Glossier model: The biggest news out of this is that her name is Eve Jobs.

Lame duck president mocks other countries for COVID-19 deaths, forgets the U.S. leads the world in COVID-19 deaths:

Texas is suing: Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, who is accused of taking bribes and abusing the power of his office, filed lawsuits against Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Michigan in the Supreme Court. Paxton alleged that these states "unlawfully enacted changes to their voting laws that led to election irregularities and skewed the results of the presidential election." The states have until 3 p.m. on Thursday to respond and then the Supreme Court will weigh in.

Biden eyes a spot for Buttigieg: Mayor Pete had high hopes that he'd score a spot in Biden's cabinet. Biden didn't grant Buttigieg his top choice of United Nations ambassador, but maybe Buttigieg will be Biden's ambassador to China.

Listen, I don't want to get in the middle of the UK's political drama: But Piers Morgan does seem like he probably had a secret cameo in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York as the pigeon lady.

Four Spanish lions have COVID-19: Alright, who the FUCK infected Zala, Nima, Run Run, and Kiumbe with COVID-19? The four lions—three females and one male—at the Barcelona Zoo have slight symptoms. Two zookeepers also tested positive.

NYPD officer "relieved of command" after investigation into racist, sexist comments: Oh maaaan. This one's a doozy. NYPD Deputy Inspector James Francis Kobel, who was the head of the NYPD's workplace discrimination office, was accused of writing some vehemently fucked up shit on a cop message board called "Law Enforcement Rant." Kobel allegedly used the username Clouseau, in a reference to the Pink Panther detective. According to ABC7, here's some of the shit Kobel allegedly wrote:

In messages posted on the website, "Clouseau" referred to Bronx District Attorney Darcel Clark as a "gap-tooth wildebeest," ridiculed Public Advocate Jumaane Williams for having Tourette's syndrome, called former President Barack Obama a "Muslim savage" and Mayor Bill de Blasio's son, Dante, a "brillohead."

If you do one thing today: Look at the New York Time's year in pictures. We've been through too much this year. I hope you're all doing okay.

For the first time since 9/11: CNN beat Fox News in ratings. Fox is facing competition from Newsmax and One America News.

New York City has over 20,000 homeless adults:

Ex-Florida COVID data scientist fears state police will target other state employees: Rebekah Jones was fired from her post in Gov. Rick DeSantis's administration after, according to her, she refused to manipulate COVID-19 data. Jones published her own data after she was fired. State police raided her home on Monday and seized any device that could transmit or store data. Jones fears that state employees who sent her internal information are at risk.

The rise of ICU iPads: In order to allow loved ones to say goodbye to their dying loved ones while remaining physically distanced, some hospitals around the country stocked up on end-of-life iPads. VICE has more here. How much do you wanna bet we'll see a glossy Apple ad that incorporates iPads as the last tether to your dying family members? I'm thinking that has Super Bowl commercial potential for Apple.

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Lithuanian lawmaker has Zoom slip-up: Petras Grazulis, an anti-LGBT member of parliament, had a little Zoom mishap when he accidentally turned on his video and a shirtless man appeared behind his shoulder. Grazulis first claimed the man was his son. Then, Grazulis claimed the man was a journalist who had hacked into his video feed to "haunt" him.

I'm sure this will end just fine: Water joins gold and oil for first time as traded commodity on Wall Street amid fears of scarcity

Here: Distract yourself with a crossword.