The simple request at the park.
The simple request at the park. Nathalie Graham

An SPD attack on Cal Anderson is imminent: For the last few months, people have been camping in the middle of the park (as well as others around the city) and for whatever reason the city has chosen the week before Christmas to force them out. Protestors have barricaded the streets around the park; cops have been circling with lights and sirens; somebody set a tent on fire. No confrontation yet. Nathalie is on the scene.

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The Centers for Disease Control says that attacking encampments “increases the potential for infectious disease spread”: The CDC says that unsheltered people should be allowed to remain where they are, because forcing them to disperse through the community will make it harder for public health officials to keep in contact with vulnerable people. (While the CDC opposes raids, today’s action is supported by a group of local developers, you will be shocked to learn.) A camera crew from KOMO, which is owned by conservative Sinclair Broadcast Group and produces video packages calling for unhoused people to be imprisoned on islands, tried to do a standup in the park last night and got chased away by a bunch of protestors.

Stimulus talks are finally moving forward: No word on the specifics, but apparently Congress is getting closer to figure out what crumbs they might be able to spare for the peasantry. Included is likely to be vaccine distribution and unemployment benefits, you know, the stuff that other nations figured out long long long ago. Great country.

65-year-old Trump groupie still trying to get approval from father figure: Congressional punchline Ron Johnson (R-Not the Guy From Miami Vice) will hold a hearing today to investigate what he says are “irregularities” in the presidential election, such as collecting absentee ballots in parks. Why is that irregular? Ahhhh, who knows, who cares. Just let him yell into a microphone in the hopes that Trump will notice and say he’s a good boy.

Inslee is pushing harder for climate-change reforms: The governor's two-year budget has some huge proposals — transforming state ferries, changing how buildings are constructed, cleaner gas. It's going to cost a lot, analysts predict — so Inslee's proposing a new system to invest state funds to pay for projects that cut pollution.

Twitch is overrun with buggy Cyberpunk nudity: Despite battering their employees with punishing crunch time, developer CD Project Red’s new game Cyberpunk 2077 is beset by weird glitches, many of them showing nudity when you least expect it. Dick protrude through pants, and players sometimes find their characters springing up out of the seat while driving, pantsless. Twitch banned queer-focused games that included nudity but this one is A-OK apparently!

Apparently RealPlayer checks you for masks now??? Hey, remember a million years ago, when RealPlayer was a thing? For all you kids too young to remember, it was an online video format that was somehow even more annoying than WMV. Anyway, the Seattle-based company still exists, and apparently now they make some kind of kiosk that businesses can use to watch people and set off an alarm if they’re not wearing a mask. You know, the kind of product that there will definitely be demand for in the coming years.

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Dakota Johnson might be wearing an engagement ring that matches her bowl of limes: Normally I do not care about celebrity gossip, but Dakota Johnson, the only person in Hollywood who is not afraid of Ellen DeGeneres, has been spotted wearing an emerald ring that might indicate she’s engaged to some guy, who cares who. The important part is that it’s an emerald! It’s green! Like as in the dominant color of her kitchen! As we all know, Dakota loves limes, she loves them, they’re great, she loves them so much and she likes to present them like this in her house.

I finally learned how to do short rows with Kfb stitches. This one knitting pattern was making me BONKERS until I finally got it — if you want to put a little contour in your work, you knit partway down the row, then slip the stitch purlwise onto your right needle, flip the loose yarn to the front, slip the stitch back to the left needle, flip the yarn to the back, then — and this is the WACKY part — you trade which hands you’re holding the needles in, left to right, and purl your way back the way you came to what was formerly the start of the row. AMAZING!!!