The balls in your court now, Chuck.
The ITMFA ball is in your court now, Chuck. ONNES / GETTY IMAGES

Here's your daily morning round-up of the latest local and national news. (Like our coverage? Please consider making a recurring contribution to The Stranger to keep it comin'!)

Trump's impeachment trial could begin next week: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi will transmit the Article of Impeachment to the Senate on Monday, Axios reports. The Constitution requires the trial to begin the day after the Senate receives the Article, but lawmakers can delay that process if they want to. The move lends national reporters a Trump content lifeline after exactly one day of the disgraced dealmaker not leading the news for once in four years, and it also pisses off Senate Minority leader Mitch McConnell, who was hoping for a February trial. Both Republicans and Democrats think the proceedings will take three weeks.

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Lazy Senate Republicans rely on dubious formalist argument to escape work: GOP Senators will try to dismiss the impeachment trial before the body takes it up. Their argument is, "Uhhhhhh, you can't put an ex-president on trial because you can't put a private citizen on trial and so ha," according to Politico. Legal scholars, including some wackos from the Federalist Society, disagree, and Politico points out that "federal courts have consistently deferred to Congress’ 'sole power' to set its own rules and procedures, including over impeachment proceedings."

I've made this mistake so many times I cannot even count:

Well this is embarrassing: Upon entering the White House for the first time as President, Joe Biden and Jill Biden found themselves locked out for about 10 seconds. Why? Because there was no usher to open the door. "Although it is unclear exactly what caused the delay with the doors — which are normally opened by Marine guards — the chief usher of the White House, who manages the residence, had been fired less than five hours earlier," the New York Times reports.

Q is shook: Biden actually assuming the office of the President did not comport with the drops of Q, and so now some are waking up to reality while others are digging in. Media Matters President Angelo Carusone told Al Jazeera "QAnon views will likely begin to seep into Biden’s COVID-19 response." Jim Watkins, the guy who runs 8kun (formerly 8chan) and who some suspect is Q, basically told everyone to accept the truth that Biden is President.

LET THE BIDEN SCANDALS BEGIN: After signing an executive order requiring everyone to wear masks on federal property, President Joe Biden and a bunch of people hung out in front of the Lincoln Memorial without wearing masks. White House press secretary Jen Psaki claimed the President was "celebrating an evening of a historic day," and that there are "bigger issues to worry about at this moment in time," the BBC reports. I wouldn't have gone with the "COVID guidelines only apply when you're not celebrating" argument, but it was Psaki's first day on the job so we'll give her a break.

Hank Aaron is dead: Hammerin' Hank met his maker at the age of 86, the New York Times reports.

Senate confirms Gen. Lloyd Austin as Secretary of Defense: Because he only retired a few years ago, Congress had to issue a rare waiver for the former general to serve in the position.

Just give them the fucking dollar: In the Bronx, about 1,400 essential union workers who "processes more than half of the city's fruits and vegetable" entered the sixth day of their strike after bosses continued to refuse a 5% raise in the middle of a pandemic, ABC reports. Over the last few days, cops arrested six workers for blocking trucks. On Inauguration Day, AOC showed up with coffee and hand-warmers and told everyone in the neighborhood to "pull up" and support the workers because there is still hope in this world and she is it.

Some National Guard troops had to nap in a parking garage for a while: Two scandalized troops told the Washington Post that Capitol police moved them from the Capitol grounds to a cold parking garage yesterday evening. Those two troops didn't like being in the garage for a little while, but some of their comrades didn't really care that much. Politicians are mad at Capitol police, the Capitol police say they didn't do it, and people on Twitter are very mad.

The Times of London claimed the Tokyo Olympics will soon be canceled, but Japanese officials say the show will go on, with the torch relay still scheduled to begin on March 25. The country dumped billions into preparations for hosting the games, which they decided to push back to this year due to the COVID-19 outbreak. As the pandemic rages on, many express concerns that organizing a massive multi-day gathering would be a massive public health risk to the entire globe. Though the government spent its Thursday batting down reports of a cancelation, those reports might ultimately hold up. "Even though Olympic and government officials are publicly saying the games are going to go on, they said the same thing this time last year right up until they postponed. And that was when the virus was just emerging," the King 5 reports.

Trumpet Man isn't pressing charges against bike cop: The guy known for playing the trumpet at protests up and down the coast told prosecutors he didn't want to press charges against the bike cop who rolled a bicycle over his head, the Seattle Times reports. The cop has been collecting a check for sitting on his couch at home since last fall, and he'll remain there until this whole thing gets sorted out.

Parts of Warden evacuated due to massive fire at the Washington Potato Company: "A risk of an ammonia tank explosion" prompted authorities to knock on doors and tell people living in the central Washington town to get out of there.

Prosecutors charged Bryson Morgan with the murder of Autumn Young: The Seattle Times really digs into the gruesome details of a story about a 23-year-old man suspected of being "involved in 'high level narcotics dealing'" allegedly shooting and killing a 21-year-old woman and then dragging her body to the shores of Lake Washington last week.

ICYMI, Biden's plan to tackle homelessness is fine, but it probably won't build enough houses that people can afford in Seattle, it probably doesn't put enough money in the pockets of people nor ensure people can find a job, and his drug treatment plan doesn't do much to address the meth problem, according to some experts the Seattle Times spoke with.

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The Capitol building is lowering its guard: This weekend the ~750 members of the Washington National Guard called up to stand outside in the rain and protect the legislative buildings from the rage of heavily armed insurrectionists will start heading home, though large numbers of Washington State Patrol officers will continue roaming around the campus in their deeply strange and unsettling hats, the Seattle Times reports. At a press conference on Thursday, Governor Inslee said he wouldn't give all the details of the increased security measures at the Capitol, and so unfortunately I'm forced to assume he's funneling millions of taxpayer dollars into an elaborate earthquake-safe bunker network that connects the Governor's Mansion to a safe room beneath Cryptatropa Bar, where he likes to listen to death metal and drink the blood of his political enemies like the tyrant he is!!!!!

Alki Beach bathroom construction commences: By summer, we should get three "all-gender restrooms that meet ADA requirements" where only two once stood, according to West Seattle Blog.

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