Yes, yes, we ALL miss airports right now, but just stay home.
Yes, yes, we ALL miss airports right now, but just stay home. izusek / getty images

Why are people flying right now??? An engine on a Boeing 777 failed spectacularly after take-off in Denver, dropping large pieces on the neighborhood below. The plane was able to land safely and miraculously there were no injuries. So that’s a happy ending to the story, unless you’re a Boeing executive. Can this please be interpreted as a divine reminder not to travel for just a few more months?

Texas still doesn’t have clean drinking water. Boil-water notices have been lifted across some of the state, but many areas still don’t have access to clean water. Meanwhile, customers have been hit by electricity bills in the thousands of dollars because of Texas’ lack of energy regulations. If you’re able, you can donate to relief efforts here.

Ted Cruz spent the weekend handing out water bottles. Good job, Ted! That oughta hold the little SOBs.

Current ETA for stimulus checks: The second week of March. Maybe. Hopefully. If we’re lucky. Legislation passed a House committee late last week, and it could get a full vote by the end of this week. Oh, okay! No rush, guys, we’re all doing fine out here! (BTW, if your income dropped in 2020, file your taxes right away so your check will be based on your current need instead of your 2019 income.)

Trump must release his taxes, but will it do any good? The U.S. Supreme Court has thrown out Donald Trump's last attempt to keep his taxes from being released to investigators. This isn't the same as releasing them to the public; they're going to a New York City prosecutor investigating hush money paid to a Trump accuser. Could THIS finally be the thing that takes Trump down? I dunno, but we've been asking that about every scandal for the last four years and the answer has always been "nope!" Anyway, great timing on this, Supreme Court, thanks for waiting until he's out of office.

Washington Republicans want to tax bikes. Of course they do. A terrible new plan by state Senator Curtis King would add a 2-cents-per-dollar tax onto bikes and bike parts. He says “it’s time we made everybody contribute and pay for what they use,” as if bikes are a burden on transportation infrastructure on par with cars.

Someone was attacked while jogging around Lake City. The woman says a man she didn’t recognize threw a sweatshirt over her and pushed her into some bushes. Police were unable to find any clues.

The Muppet Show is now on Disney+, mostly. A few episodes and songs are missing, mostly due to rights issues (the same reason you can’t stream Murphy Brown). One of the few episodes that is missing in its entirety featured a guest who was arrested for child pornography in 2007, so that’s not great. Conservatives are upset that a few of the episodes that feature cultural and racial stereotypes are preceded by a message acknowledging that those depictions are a problem, good grief. As a noted Muppet snob (and former employee of The Jim Henson Company — I used to work in the archives there and once met Kermit) I’d like to recommend that you watch the episodes with Harry Belafonte, Gilda Radner, Pearl Bailey, Vincent Price, Madeline Kahn, John Cleese, Leslie Uggams (ft. Big Bird), and most of all Rita Moreno. But honestly they’re all great episodes, except for the Florence Henderson one, what was she thinking? Muppet completionists may wish to see the time they hosted The Tonight Show and completely bombed.

Yonder Bar is closed, for now. A home-brewer operating a bar out of their garage got shut down by the city for, among other things, operating a business in a single-family-zoned area. The closure was reportedly due to one complaining neighbor; but hilariously, this may have prompted Councilmember Dan Strauss to propose emergency legislation that would make it easier for people to operate home businesses. Congratulations and thank you to that one nosy neighbor who is helping to dismantle Seattle’s dumb single-family zoning.

Close Pike Place to private cars. Or charge a $50 fee for private cars to access the cobblestones. Or put a gate arm in front of the street that only delivery trucks are allowed to pass. Or dig a huge pit in the street that cars fall into if they try to drive down there. Or hire a clown to spray drivers with seltzer. ANYTHING.

A bear bit a lady on the butt in Alaska. Look, bears, I know you all went a little stir-crazy while Diesel was closed, but just try to control yourselves.

Love Slog AM/PM?

Has anyone been able to get that song from the most recent episode of WandaVision out of their head? Fuuuuuck, that was good. And no spoilers, but if you liked that little number you’ll probably enjoy this one too: