So I guess Ill never see them live...
So I guess I'll never see them live... Karl Walter/Getty
Here's your daily morning round-up of the latest local and national news. (Like our coverage? Please consider making a recurring contribution to The Stranger to keep it comin'!)

Seattle Erotic Art Festival Presents: Auction Beltane! Join us May 1st for a sexy, delicious evening.
Tickets $15-$250. Aphrodesia delivery menu, incredible auction items, live streamed performances.

Daft Punk broke up: And we somehow went three whole days without mentioning it on Slog. I'm here to right that wrong. After not touring or releasing an album for several years, the iconic French duo officially called it quits on Monday. To memorialize the occasion, they released a clip from their 2006 film Electroma where one of the robots self-destructs. It's kind of boring, but you can watch it here. I've been using this time to play their music on repeat—take this morning to revisit something sweet why don't you?

Brianna Thomas is running for city council: Seattle City Council President Lorena Gonzalez's chief of staff threw her hat into the ring this morning. Stranger associate editor Rich Smith spoke to Thomas about criminal justice reform, "equitable economic recovery," and fake blood—catch their interview here.

First-time unemployment claims fell to 730,000 this week: Compared to 845,000 last week. For the past six weeks, first-time claims remained above the 800,000 mark, but this week's number is still "the 49th week that the number has been higher than any time during the Great Recession." Continuing claims fell to 4.419 million.

Washington State Patrol employee is under investigation for child rape: According to the Seattle Police Department, the employee was arrested on Tuesday after he "went into a hotel room in Kirkland expecting to find two children inside, but was met by SPD's SWAT team instead." He believed he was meeting a woman who would allow him to "perform sexual acts on her two young children." WSP has confirmed that the employee is not a trooper and has been booked into King County Jail with his bail set at $150,000.

Former substation on Market Street in Ballard to become electric vehicle charging site: Seattle City Light is looking for community feedback on the idea. You can email them your thoughtz before March 19 and learn more about the project here.

Whenever I feel like my human problems are too big, I like to just think about how freakishly small I am in comparison to the universe: NASA's Perseverance rover has been clutch in helping me accomplish that task. "I'm taking it all in." Me too, dude, me too.

Don't touch that bird feeder just yet: Washington wildlife officials have extended their call for residents to remove bird feeders and bird baths from their backyards until at least April 1. There's still a deadly outbreak of salmonellosis that's killing our beloved birdies. Let's make sure our avian friends are still around so they can herald the onset of spring.

Trump is giving the keynote address: At the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) this weekend in Orlando as the GOP wrangles with its post-Trump presidency identity. The former president is headlining the event (duh) and will speak on Sunday afternoon. Programming for CPAC's panels will "keep alive Trump's false claims of election fraud" and all participants are likely to have horrifically bad breath. What do you think those bozos have to say about January 6?

Meanwhile, the Manhattan district attorney's office has reportedly obtained "millions of pages" of Trump's financial records: As part of the office's investigation into Trump's shady business dealings in the state. The dump comes days after the Supreme Court rejected his request to block Manhattan DA Cy Vance from obtaining said records.

Anthony Fauci says if there's a coronavirus vaccine available, you should take it: Apparently some people are wary of the slightly less effective single-dose Johnson & Johnson vaccine and might wait for a chance at Pfizer or Moderna. Fauci says fuck that, take whatever's offered. You don't have to tell me twice.

Now for the weather:

#CanadaProblems: In addition to a deadly respiratory pandemic, Canadians are also dealing with "hard" butter. Apparently, this issue has plagued our neighbors up north for weeks as their butter does not spread or soften as easily as it used to. Some believe the culprit is a palm oil derivative, but the jury is still out.

The flu has practically disappeared in the US: Experts are saying that, nationwide, this is the lowest flu season we've had on record. Masks, social distancing, virtual schooling, reduced traveling, and flu vaccinations all played a major part in preventing the "twindemic" of flu and COVID-19.

We won't find out the identities of the SPD officers who attended the Trump rally on January 6 just yet: A King County court commissioner temporarily blocked the city from releasing records that would identify the six officers present at the MAGA rally on the day of the Capitol siege. More from Lewis Kamb at the Seattle Times:

Superior Court Commissioner Bradford Moore’s temporary restraining order — sought by the officers referred to in legal pleadings as “Plaintiffs John and Jane Does 1 through 6” — stops the city’s planned release of investigation and personnel information in response to four different public-records requests until March 10, when a judge is set to decide whether to grant the officers a permanent injunction.
Shaun Scott also has more deets about the suit filed by the six Seattle cops here.

Frasier's back: The television series set in Seattle is set for a comeback on, uh, Paramount+. Kelsey Grammer will return as Dr. Frasier Crane (but maybe he'll have a podcast now?), though none of the other original cast members are currently attached to the reboot. Fingers crossed they'll actually shoot in the Emerald City.

Also there's this: RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars season 6 is also headed to Paramount+. This is in addition to a new World of Wonder drag queen singing competition series called Queen of the Universe, which "will pit drag queens around the world against one another" like an even gayer version of Eurovision. Sounds like I'm subscribing to Paramount+!

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Seattle Art Museum gets a big-ass gift: The museum is set to receive 19 20th-century abstract expressionist and European masterworks (plus $10.5 million in funds) courtesy of the Friday Foundation. The works—which include hot-shot names like Jackson Pollock, Willem de Kooning, and Helen Frankenthaler—come from the Lang Collection. Collectively, the works are valued at an estimated $400 million. SAM CEO Amada Cruz observes that the gift means the institution "will have one of the best public collections of New York school paintings in the country." The museum plans to exhibit the collection in October.

FKA twigs is developing a martial arts television show for FX: In an interview with Michaela Coel for The Face, twigs said the program is based on the "deep connection" between "the Black community and the Chinese martial arts community."

For your listening pleasure: More Daft Punk, you punks!