Good work on the virus stuff! But, ummmm, its not over yet!!
Good work on the virus stuff! But, ummmm, it's not over yet!! KITZ-TRAVELLERS/GETTYIMAGES.COM

President Joe Biden is addressing the nation at 5 p.m. PST: Biden is making a speech after signing the $1.9 trillion stimulus package on Thursday. In his speech, Biden is expected to direct all states to make all adult Americans eligible for vaccination as soon as May 1. At that date on Washington's current vaccine timeline, only people 50+ with two comorbidities and people who live in congregated facilities (the homeless, assisted living facilities, etc) would be eligible. So, if Biden's plan pans out, should we all meet up for a vaccinated Memorial Day orgy? I'll choose the venue.

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You can watch Biden's speech here:

Any health professional can administer the poke now: I want one from a veterinarian.

Did you see the New York Times article? The one celebrating Seattle's virus response? It's a good read by former Seattle Times staffer and current NYT hotshot Mike Baker. Basically, our COVID-19 restrictions led to Seattle having one of the lowest death rates out of big metropolitan areas. I feel both proud and sad while reading it. Proud because it sucks to live in pretty much perpetual lockdown for a year. Sad because I don't feel like this is over yet and Washington is already cashing in the win and reopening. But, maybe I just have trust issues after all the gradual reopenings and returns to lockdowns in the last year.

Washington is headed for Phase 3: That means 50% indoor capacity, stadiums at 25% capacity, and masked and socially distanced indoor/outdoor activities with a maximum of 400 people gathered starting on March 22. Shortly after Gov. Jay Inslee announced the changes, Jeff Duchin, the Public Health — King County and Seattle health officer, tweeted this:

Oh wait, no, it was this:

As Rich Smith wrote in his story about Washington's impending Phase 3 reopening: Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

Washington's homeless population still hasn't been vaccinated: According to the Seattle Times's Scott Greenstone, on the current timeline (aka, before Biden's sexy little announcement) Washington's homeless who live in shelters won't be eligible until around April 26. But, some older shelter residents could receive the vaccine earlier. But, homeless advocates told Greenstone the key may be to vaccinate shelters all at once to reduce vaccine hesitation. The new one-dose Johnson & Johnson vaccine could be key for vaccinating the homeless since the population is usually transient. The homeless vax plan is still largely up in the air.

A Virginia Kroger store had a vaccine mix-up: Kroger, who is currently suing multiple cities for giving grocery workers hazard pay in the midst of the pandemic, just confessed that one of its stores in Virginia administered vaccine shots with empty vials. Nothing was in those vials! But the store still gave people shots! Kroger wouldn't fess up this morning, but now the grocery giant has come clean that a "small number of people" got jack squat when they went in to receive their vaccines. The people who got ghost vaxxed have now actually received the vaccine, Kroger said.

Washington state parks are reopening: Washington is moving into new phases of reopening from lockdown. More state parks and their resources are coming back online. You can check them out here.

Mississippi governor signs anti-trans bill: The "Mississippi Fairness Act" prohibits transgender athletes from participating in girls' and womens' sports. The law is a direct response to President Joe Biden's executive order that protects trans athletes' ability to play on a sports team that conforms with their gender identity. Mississippi Gov. Tate Reeves said that the executive order left his state "no choice” but to pass this legislation. Idaho tried its hand at a similar law last year. It passed, but the federal judge found it unconstitutional.

Portland's canary in the pandemic coal mine: Was the closure of the cheese festival, according to the Portland Mercury staff:

Prince William says the British monarchy isn't racist: William was the first member of the royal family to respond to allegations of racism made by Harry and Meghan Markle in their Oprah interview. “We’re very much not a racist family,” William said.

British colonialism proves William's point, says Fox News guest:

Love Slog AM/PM?

Alright, alright, alright? Matthew McConaughey is flirting with the idea of running for governor of Texas next year.

Tragedy strikes wherever the Muppets live: Miss Piggy Comes Under Fire After Pepe Le Pew Cancellation

Hertz, the rental car company, may have cost this man five years of his life: That's not me being cute about long rental car waits! Herbert Alford was wrongfully accused of shooting and killing a man in a Lansing, Michigan strip mall in 2011. In 2016, Alford was convicted of second-degree murder. At the time of the shooting, he was renting a car at Hertz. Even though his lawyers asked for the rental car receipt to prove his alibi, Hertz didn't return the receipt until 2018. Alford spent nearly five years behind bars because of that late receipt. He's suing Hertz.