Krispy Kreme is widening the gap between the haves and the have-nots in this country.
Krispy Kreme is widening the gap between the haves and the have-nots in this country. JOE RAEDLE/GETTY

Microsoft says work-from-home can end: The tech giant announced on Monday that its Redmond, Bellevue, and Seattle employees—around 57,000 people—can go back to their offices starting on March 29. Indoor spaces in Washington can now be at 50% capacity, up from the 25% capacity from earlier this month. Microsoft is not requiring office work but just giving employees the option. Last year, Seattle's big tech sorta created the work-from-home domino effect. Will we start seeing more companies lifting their restrictions this week?

Get vaxxed by the feds in Yakima: The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) selected the Central Washington State Fair Park in Yakima as the state's first federal vaccination site. Starting on March 31, Yakimites (this is what Yakima residents are called, yes?) will be able to drive through the site and get a coveted arm poke administered by the federal government! The plan is to dole out over 1,000 doses a day at the Yakima vax site.

New York makes complaints against the NYPD public: Around 83,000 complaints filed against NYPD officers are now public and searchable due to New York lawmakers repealing a shield law protecting police records. Police unions tried to keep the records secret, but Federal Court judges rejected their efforts.

Twitter wants your two cents: Should world leaders who like to tweet be subject to the same rules and all the normies? Twitter created a whole survey about this.

Active shooter reported at Boulder grocery store: Police in Boulder, Colorado responded to reports that someone was shot in the parking lot of a King Soopers grocery store. When police arrived, ABC News reported, someone opened fire on them. At least six people have been killed. The story is still developing.

From a reporter in Boulder:

Did anyone else experience a mid-day thunderstorm? A little weather scooted over Seattle for a hot minute and then it was back to our regularly scheduled programming which seems to include a surprising amount of sun. I admit that I have not been outside yet today.

These headlines just write themselves: Republican who demanded Cuomo resign quits politics over sexual misconduct claims

Finally, a reason to get vaccinated: Krispy Kreme will give out free donuts all year to anyone who can prove they've gotten the shot. You can get as many free donuts as you want if you've been vaccinated. Does that not... sweeten the deal? I'm kidding, of course, because I would give a kidney to be fully vaccinated right now.

Vaccine eligibility is widening in certain states: As of today, all New Yorkers over the age of 50 can be vaccinated. Want to feel some hot and ugly jealousy pump through your veins? Arizona just opened up vaccines to everyone over the age of 16. West Virginia, Mississippi, and Alaska have equally lax eligibility requirements.

This is tragic: Katherine Diaz, a 22-year-old surfer and Olympic hopeful from El Salvador, died after being struck by lightning while training in the ocean.

Jarring! Dr. Oz is taking over as guest host of Jeopardy! for two weeks.

Colleen Echohawk is running for mayor: And she thinks she has what it takes to finally tackle Seattle's homelessness crisis.

“New onset” psychosis is a symptom of COVID-19: Some people who recovered from COVID-19 reported a kind of extreme paranoia. Sometimes this presented in the urge to self-harm or harm others, in other cases, the New York Times reported, it was just constant, nagging anxiety. Doctors don't really know what's up. The psychosis "may result from an immune response, vascular issues, or inflammation from the disease process, experts hypothesize." It has mostly afflicted patients in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. The Times followed a Bainbridge man who is still suffering from psychosis after contracting COVID in November.

Ellen lost a buttload of viewers: Remember last summer when Ellen Degeneres came under fire for treating her workers like absolute dog shit? Her viewers sure do. Since September, Degeneres' show, Ellen lost 1 million viewers.

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Network television's fate hinges on football: Streaming services spell bad news for traditional television networks. But, even when they had nothing, they had the NFL. The new $113 billion deal to telecast NFL games through 2033 is split between CBS, NBC, Fox, ABC, ESPN, and Amazon because everyone wants a piece of football. Really, everyone needs a piece of football. NFL games accounted for 2 of the 20 most popular programs this TV season. Usually, networks could rely on other high-rating events like the Grammys or the Golden Globes, but pandemic numbers for the awards shows have been lower than ever. Football is the only dependable thing in TV's future.

Sidney Powell wants the defamation charges against her thrown out: Dominion Voting Systems is suing Powell for $1.3 billion in damages after Powell repeatedly claimed Dominion was involved in massive voting fraud in the 2020 election. Powell's reasoning for why the charges against her should be dismissed? "Reasonable people would not accept such statements as fact.”

So, how bout that March Madness, eh? At my grandpa's urging, I made my first bracket for the tournament. It is not going well for me. Please explain to me what is happening in the Big Dance in the comments.

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