Thank you
Chas. for
Everything.

Excellent essay, Charles.

Mwah!
That's a kiss for you Charles.

Well that's raccoons and rats sorted, but I still need to know more about dead squirrels.

If there's no obvious sign of trauma, it probably was poisoned. Keep your eyes peeled for sick/dying ravens.

I still say it's gangs of e-skateboard riders who use their psychic sycthes on the rats

They die where they live. Sidewalks are a pretty popular place in Sesttle.

gosh one'd think their Brethern'd
be out gobbling up the Spoils

'mmmm. rat'
--Ratty

gosh one'd think
their Brethren'd
be out gobbling
up the Spoils...

thnk gd for
Editing!

It sounds like some of those rats were murdered, so I don't think you can count their postmortem sidewalk presents as a sign that they chose to die on the sidewalk.

@10 The corpses have a disturbing tendency to move about, too-- I've twice had crows drop the better part of a dead rat on me, and I see 'em toting the little stiffs around pretty regular too. Ah the majesty of nature etc etc.

@8:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WayenNqD24c

The street is S Columbian Way, not S Columbia Way.
And yes, I've seen more than a few dead rats on the side of Beacon Ave S in the last year (while biking). That's another reason for washing hands after getting back home!
New York and London are famous for subway rats, embedded in their century-old transit systems.
Seattle's transit system is nowhere nearly as old or extensive enough to have that many rats.
On the other hand, put those toilet seat lids down at night. You never know when a furry little critter will swim up from the sewer looking for food!

"In that future, which is hopefully not too far from us, we will look down and see from the platform a rodent dragging a Dick's burger."

You have answered your own question. The rats are no fools. They are waiting for In & Out Burger to arrive here.

@11

Yikes! There might be a murder of crows out to get you for a grievance over a perceived violation of their code on your part.

@15 Why would they shower me with such succulent delights if I'd drawn their ire? It's a sign of their favor, if anything. Which is no less foreboding, is it, but I'll just stop thinking about it now if you please.

We'll always remember it as an endearing attribute about you, robotslave.

@16

Oops, yes, I failed to consider the corvine perspective. It's like when the crows brought gifts to that little girl whose neighbors didn't like her feeding them. Crows favor you!

When will Dr. Nelson Salim die on the sidewalk?

I love my car.

@22 -- 'doktor' Nelson cannot
Die he's a Magical Potionseer.

I used to be a newt!
admittedly not a Dead one
but still I'm CURED. thnx 'dok'!

@23, good, the first step to controlling your addiction is admitting to the problem.

Now filed in my mind next to the all-time Mudede classic, "Why are pigeons' feet so fucked up?" (Stranger, 8/2013)

Yes, these animals are highly invasive, although there is a canine extermination procedure whereby professional dog handlers can let packs of Rat or Cairn Terriers loose in the infested vicinity and they will go to work killing the rats by crushing them in their jaws and or snapping their necks.

At any rate, this is a very effective extermination method that works with Mother Nature rather than against her with dangerous chemicals that pose a threat to the health of humans and pets.

This rat-corpse public health issue will not go away, in fact it will probably get worse with more folks moving up here from warmer climes to escape global warming, so it behooves the new mayoral administration, hopefully Echohawk or Sawant, to address this pernicious problem, which Mr. Mudede aptly points out.

@27 -- Well done.

@27 - I'm sure they'd be more effective than the animal most people wrongly associate with killing rats, namely domestic cats. In this excellent article in the Smithsonian Magazine, they outline how cats are virtually useless at containing rats https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/cats-are-surprisingly-ineffective-keeping-urban-rat-populations-check-180970428/ Another piece I read even suggests that cats, which are big enough to kill mice, may actually be FEEDING rats in that process, since cats, enamored as they are with killing far more than they need to eat, often leave killed mice intact, which are then eaten by rats. Two more excellent points in this Smithsonian piece re: cats - "domestic felines—deemed one of 'the most ubiquitous and environmentally damaging invasive predators on Earth'— have contributed to the extinction of at least 63 global vertebrate species," and "introducing feral cats into urban environments can raise a bevy of unintended side effects. Feline feces spreads a disease known as toxoplasmosis, which can cause severe brain damage or even death when transmitted from a pregnant mother to a fetus. Cats are also notorious bird killers—a 2013 study suggested the animals are responsible for the deaths of 2.4 billion birds per year, and that’s just in the United States."