Me winning the lotto.
Me winning the lotto. Getty Images

PERKS! PERKS! PERKS! WHO'S READY TO PLAY TO WIN!? IF YOU GOT YOUR SHOT(S), NO NEED TO SIGN UP, YOU'RE ALREADY GAMBLIN'! Gov. Inslee rolled out vaccine incentives in Washington state today. The "Shot of a Lifetime” sweepstakes will take place during June, featuring $2 million in cash prizes, "nearly" $1 million for paid college tuition, video game systems, smart speakers, and—that's right—sweet, sweet gift cards, motherfuckers!!!!! As The Stranger's Rich Smith wrote in his full rundown of the vaccine lotto—which you can read right here—the Lottery will select the winners from Washington's "statewide immunization database," so you don't have to fill out a slip of paper at a gas station or anything. The only way to play is to sit for at least one shot.

Now that your vax juice is kicking in, I'm sure your first thought is, "Where are the summer concerts?" It's not?! Well, let us answer the thought anyways: THEY'RE COMING! EverOut's got a long list here and Michael Rietmulder with the Seattle Times has an overview out today about some of the biggies: Watershed Festival at the Gorge (July 30-Aug. 1), Brandi Carlile with Sheryl Crow at the Gorge (Aug. 14), Macklemore at the State Fair (Sept. 24), etc, etc. Did you see Andrea Bocelli's coming in November? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

The University of Washington will require all of its staff and faculty to get vaccinated by the fall quarter: Otherwise, no employment on campus! The typical exemptions still apply—religious, medical, even, uh, philosophical— and the announcement follows the UW already announcing that students need the jabs, too.

Biden to American executives: Get your shit in order before that shit gets rocked by hackers.

I'd shit myself if I took a trip on this plane. Look at the render for this thing! It's so scary. San Francisco to Tokyo in six hours does sound nice, though.

Here are the states on the top of Biden's shitlist: Alabama, Mississippi, Wyoming, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and North Dakota. All of those states will take at least six months to reach 70 percent of adults with one vaccine dose at their current vaccination paces. Alabama and Mississippi, the worst states, would take over a year at their current speeds. Limited access and shot hesitancy contribute to the slow pacing, reports the New York Times.

I'm sorry I keep saying shit: I just can't stop thinking about this TikTok someone at work made me watch.

ICYMI: Kate McKinnon will play Carole Baskin and John Cameron Mitchell will play Joe Exotic in a new Tiger King-inspired limited series on Peacock. Dennis Quaid's also in the cast.

"We need doctors and nurses, and here I am just spitting into a tube and sound comes out," is a quote I keep thinking about from this tender feature on the Seattle Symphony.

Snooker is a word I did not know until today. Sorry. I don't come from billiards people.

A controversial food truck debate in Burien: The Burien City Council passed a food truck pilot program in March, but it was put on pause by April after local restaurants pushed back, arguing the food trucks would hurt their already struggling businesses. Now, a few of those businesses have regrets. “If I deserve a chance, everybody deserves a chance,” said Herminia Santos, the owner of the Mexican restaurant La Rielera, to Seattle Times's Melissa Hellmann. Read Melissa's full story here.

Also happening in glorious Burien: The Stranger's inaugural SUMMER DRIVE-IN MINI-MOVIE BONANZA. Yes, we did a great pop-up drive-in horror film fest in a parking lot outside On the Boards last year, but this one is extra special.

Scam alert: This scam is still happening. Did this happen to you? Report it @ citylight.seattle.gov/scam.

A win for bi nerdy girls: Sansa Stark is bi. Or, at least, Sophie Turner probably is.

I say "probably" not because I'm suspicious of bisexuals but because Turner's Coming Out post on Instagram is kinda vague.

A belated eulogy for White Center's gay bar, The Swallow:

Throwback to 2019, a year that was in the last decade and also feels like a decade ago:

It is a Sunday night, and I'm in a gay bar in White Center for the third night in a row. I'm tired from all the partying, which is why it takes me a second to realize that someone is rubbing my feet.

It is a man I do not know. He asks me a question, but I can't hear him. We are at the Swallow, a nautical-themed gay bar recently opened by Marcus Wilson, the cocreator and former manager of the popular Capitol Hill bar Pony. House and techno music is blasting.

"WHAT?" I yell.

"ARE YOU WEARING CONVERSE?" the stranger yells back.

He's referring to my boots.

"NO. THEY'RE PALLADIUMS," I tell him.

He pauses, mulls over the information, squeezes my boots. It doesn't feel creepy. We're smiling. Everyone in the bar is very nice, and I welcome the interaction, though I am surprised that a stranger has come up to me and not only started talking to me but is actually now rubbing my feet. There is no Seattle Freeze in White Center.

The Boombox Bar replaced The Swallow, and it looks fun. I'm swinging through White Center to catch up with a few places for the neighborhood's Pride this weekend.

It's officially SECB season: The Stranger Election Control Board (SECB) kicked off today with our first scheduled meeting*, a battle between the candidates for King County Council Position 7. I know, it's a position you've probably thought a lot about. Don't worry, we'll do the preliminary work for you and drop our primary election endorsements days before ballots hit your mailboxes, as always. Toss us some loose change so we can keep this blawg churnin' and burnin'.

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*One candidate canceled this afternoon so we rescheduled. Off to a great start.

They found the rifle: Just took a year.

I'll admit I have a soft spot for this man: A real tear-jerker for the impending travel season.