Getting a stabby and smoking a fatty aint so easy, it turns out.
Getting a stabby and smoking a fatty ain't so easy, it turns out. Peter Dazeley/Getty

Moderna files with the FDA for emergency authorization to use their COVID vaccine in kids aged 12-17: In a Phase 2/3 trial of 12- to 17-year-olds, the pharmaceutical company found that blood tests "showed that the vaccine produced an immune response that was equivalent to earlier findings in adults." None of the kids who were fully immunized got sick with COVID, while four kids who received the placebo did come down with the virus. The FDA is expected to approve this emergency use request before the beginning of the next school year which would dramatically increase the supply of vaccines available to schoolchildren.

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Unemployment hits another pandemic-era low: First-time jobless claims stand at 376,000 for the week ending on June 5, reports Yahoo. That number hems ever closer to the 200,000 pre-pandemic average for new weekly claims. Meanwhile, continuing claims for the week ending on May 22 stand at 3.499 million, an "elevated" number that might exacerbate concerns about "widespread labor shortages."

But a lot of that unemployment money may have been stolen: A new Axios report says that unemployment fraud may have reached as much as $400 billion with the bulk of it ending up in the hands of foreign crime syndicates.

Freakout Fest drops their lineup: Festivals are back, baby. The beloved (by me) Ballard music festival hosted by Freakout Records looks stacked this year with bands from Seattle and across the globe coming to rock out our fair neighborhood to the north. Most excitingly, Michael Imperioli (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) will perform at the festival with his band Zopa. And Mad Alchemy Liquid Light Show will return to lay their trippy visuals over the proceedings. It should be fun! Grab your tickets here.

Another restaurant norovirus outbreak: King County health officials say that a norovirus-like illness has been identified in 13 people who have all been linked to the Mazatlan Restaurant in Auburn, reports KING 5. Environmental health investigators examined the restaurant but "did not find any risk factors known to contribute to the spread of norovirus."

PCC presses pause on the opening of their downtown store: The co-op is putting off the opening of their Rainier Square tower location until next spring over concerns that they can't find the 100 workers needed to staff the store, reports the Seattle Times. They are also concerned about the lack of foot traffic in the area as many companies are still adhering to their work-from-home policies, leaving their shiny office buildings empty.

"Joints for Jabs" sounds cute, but it isn't really working: The program allows cannabis stores to host vaccine clinics and offer one pre-roll to anyone (of age) who got their shot there. But in a Liquor and Cannabis Board meeting yesterday, dispensaries said health care providers are wary of setting up shop inside their stores for fear of losing their federal funding since weed is still illegal under federal law, reports KOMO. Since the program ends July 12, anyone who gets a shot now won't be able to schedule a second one in the same location. Plus, they noted breweries, wineries, and bars can give away free drinks to people who simply show their vaccination card with no requirement of a clinic. My response to this debacle is that we must make weed federally legal!!!!

Weather break!

ICYMI: WeWork is shutting down their Ballard office less than two years after it opened as it "restructures its real estate footprint," reports GeekWire. The announcement took some area customers by surprise, but it comes as the company and other co-working spaces are still reeling from the pandemic's effect on communal workspace culture. Also, I totally forgot about WeLive—thank god that didn't end up happening.

This is so unbelievably dumb, I'm only gonna share the headline because explaining it would have a deleterious effect on my brain: "Lunar New Deal: GOP Rep. Gohmert suggests altering moon's orbit to combat climate change," says NBC News. Hat tip to the Texas Congressman for having a big (and ridiculous) imagination.

There was a solar eclipse today: While Seattle couldn't see it, if you happen to live on the East Coast (hello, why are you reading this very local news round up) you might have seen it pretty clearly. The BBC has a cute infographic if you're into that kind of thing. And the New York Times has collected some photos of the eclipse from around the world.

Help, I can't stop giggling at "smoke taint": A Woodinville winery announced that they would not release wine from its 2020 vintage because of "smoke taint" from last year's wildfires in Washington and Oregon. "You can just smell the smoke literally on the bunches," Bridgit Griessel of Betz Family Winery told KING 5. While the smoke wouldn't have health effects necessarily, taste and smell would definitely be affected by the "smoke taint."

Loki: Is genderfluid.

The guy who slapped French President Emmanuel Macron speaks: "I think that Macron represents very neatly the decay of our country," Damien Tarel, a self-described medieval martial arts enthusiast and right-wing sympathizer, told a French court today. "If I had challenged Macron to a duel at sunrise, I doubt he would have responded." Ok, but now I want to live in the universe where—in the year 2021—Macron shows up at dawn to duel with a random French citizen.

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White House officials aren't happy with Kamala Harris's trip down to Guatemala and Mexico: From the cringeworthy "do not come" speech to her weird response to basic questions from Lester Holt, her first trip abroad has left many "perplexed" by her lack of preparation. Perhaps she should audition for Veep?

FYI: The Seattle Public Library is now offering Discover Passes to loan to cardholders. Reserve one and it's yours for two weeks.

For your listening pleasure: "Catalina Fight Song" by Joyce Manor.

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