This is all your fault.
Look what you've done. Paul Aresu / Getty Images

Good news! Hundreds of people voted today in our reader poll, attempting to find a convenient scapegoat to blame for this heatwave. And the results are, by a landslide: You! The voters of Seattle. Congratulations, half of all respondents blame you!

Waaaay back in 1968 and 1970s, Seattle voters had an opportunity to build a regional rail system, most of which would have been paid for by the federal government. But no, Seattle voters decided, let’s just keep building more roads for cars. Then one thing led to another and now we’re all dying, sometimes literally, of heat.

And lest you think that such mistakes are in the past, in 2019, 40% of King County voted to slash funding for transit via I-976.

So, great work Seattle voters! You ruin everything.

The write-ins on this survey were particularly fun; several people volunteered “capitalism,” “Republicans,” and “Cliff Mass.” A few others suggested “Henry Ford,” and two people wrote in my name, both spelling it correctly, which is all that matters.

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There were also numerous variations on “big oil,” “Exxon,” and “fossil fuels,” as well as several write-ins along the lines of “people having more babies,” which, sure, why not — we can distribute blame between the very old and the very young.

Anyway, now we know who to blame for all this heat! It solves literally nothing but maybe next time there’s an election, you will be in some way motivated to vote in a way that will not make your descendants hate you for the next fifty years.