Im sure shell love the movie.
I'm sure she'll love the movie. PHOTO BY VITTORIO ZUNINO CELOTTO/GETTY IMAGES

Vote for us. In case you missed it because you were busy watching the trailer for that new Celine Dion movie over and over, The Stranger just dropped our election endorsements in the upcoming primary. (Deadline to vote is August 3 and ballots are getting mailed out TODAY.) If you want to read up on all of the candidates and make your own decision, that is of course very noble, but really there’s no need to trouble your pretty little head — just vote as we say and everything will be fine.

Or don’t vote, whatever. The Seattle Times Editorial Board made no endorsement in the Position 8 race, because Teresa Mosqueda is mean to suburban billionaires and she wants to end Seattle’s racist, decades-long ban on building new apartments in many neighborhoods. Honestly, if the kind of person who trusts the Seattle Times Editorial Board’s advice wants to just sit this election out, that’s fine with me.

Who let Celine out? Folks!!!!! We have GOT to organize a viewing party for the new “inspired by Celine Dion but not actually about Celine Dion” movie, which includes such directorial choices as having the 50-something-year-old star play a five-year-old. Look, you know me, the moment I hear Celine singing I’ll stop what I’m doing, put my hand on my heart, and stand at attention until she’s finished. The fact that this film is unauthorized and features songs that are merely Celine-esque (yup, it’s a Jackie Jormp-Jomp situation) makes it all the sweeter.

The candidate findoms need. After we endorsed Lorena González for mayor, the candidate dropped a fundraising message in which she highlights our blurb — including the bit where we envision a happy city “where you can buy groceries, get to work, lounge in a leafy park, grab a green tea with your findom, and groom your goldendoodle all within 15 minutes of walking, biking, or busing.” We’re all glad that she liked that passage, but I don’t know which portmanteau is more obscene, “findoms” or “goldendoodle.”

As Rich pointed out, her comms team emoticon-bleeped “cuck” but allowed “goldendoodle” to just sit there with its ass out.
As The Stranger's Rich Smith pointed out, her comms team emoticon-bleeped “cuck” but allowed “goldendoodle” to just sit there with its ass out.

Didn’t Seattle used to be rainy? The city’s gone a solid month without measurable precipitation. Probably nothing to worry about.

Seattle’s pushing homelessness to the suburbs. New research shows that the skyrocketing cost of living in Seattle is pushing more people south of I-90, and also into a spiral of housing insecurity due to a lack of resources in areas like Kent and Federal Way. If only there was some way to deal with homelessness, like giving homes to people who don’t have one.

How will the Design Review Board fuck this one up? Seattle desperately needs housing, and one of the obstacles to building more is the Design Review Board, a bunch of volunteer architects who derail construction projects with interminable meetings where they nitpick about facades having the wrong color brick, or windows not evoking a suitably poetic metaphor. A new eight-story building has been proposed for Capitol Hill — which is nice, but it should be eighty — with a review meeting scheduled for this evening. Just let them build, I’m begging you.

Good news for people who have faces. There’s a new Glossier store coming to the Pike/Pine core, which is apparently a place that sells cosmetics. I was about to call it “upscale,” but let’s be honest, I’m so clueless about my own skin that it’s all upscale to me. You could offer me a lotion made out of mashed-up centipedes and I’d be like “oh, classy.” But I do get the sense that this is the kind of place that caters to the well-to-do, making it just a particularly well-groomed canary in the coal mine of Seattle’s unaffordability.

An incredible reunion. After his 2-year-old son was kidnapped in 1997, Guo Gangtang spent over two decades searching China for his child. That child was just located by authorities — details on how, exactly, they did so are a little murky. Here’s the reunion video.

Amazon is for TERFs. Amazon employees are begging the company to stop carrying a book that frames transgender youth as mentally ill, and at least two people have quit over the company’s refusal to do so. The book is “Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters,” by Abigail Shrier, and says that trans youth are “caught … in a crowd mental illness.”

What if the president of Brazil hiccups himself to death? Jasmyne mentioned it in AM, but I can’t stop thinking about the latest stupid news from Jair Bolsonaro — that he can’t stop hiccuping. The doofus president of Brazil went to a hospital today to see if he needs emergency surgery, with doctors finding that he has an obstructed intestine. Imagine if Bolsonaro dies as he lived — barely intelligible, and overflowing with shit.

Love Slog AM/PM?

Nearly all of Washington is in a drought emergency. Great news! Another wave of above-average temperatures are forecast for the northern midwest in the next few days; meanwhile, abnormally hot weather is expected to kill nearly all of the salmon in the Sacramento River. With any luck, we’ll manage to kill another billion animals and unleash a wave of flesh-eating bacteria. All this climate change is very very good for everyone, and even though Europe is pushing to end the sale of gasoline-burning cars by 2035, there is absolutely no reason to do the same thing here.

Farewell, Fleets. Twitter is killing Fleets even faster than Google did away with Waves. Ironic that a feature designed to allow the temporary sharing of images was itself very temporary. Oh well! You’ll have to find some other way to post nudes. I recommend doing it the old-fashioned way, by pressing your naked body against the wall of a cave and having a friend do a spit-take all over you with paint.