John Waters with his art.
John Waters with his art. XAVIER SCHIPANI

Are you ready to break down this afternoon's news? Grab a single chip and let's get into it. Crunch, crunch, crunch.

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo is currently refusing to leave office, following the release of a report from the state attorney general that detailed many allegations of sexual harassment against Cuomo. But it seems as if the state assembly has the votes to impeach Cuomo if it comes to that—and if he leaves office, he'll be replaced by Lt. Gov. Kathy Hochul, who would be the first woman to serve as governor of New York.

Spoiler: "It was unclear what kind of whiskey the Japanese gave to Mr. Pompeo." This was our only question and the New York Times failed to answer it.

King County Elections dropped a little baby batch of ballots: The Wednesday evening update after election night is always small, and almost always ends up looking like an extension of the Tuesday results. (Read our takeaways from those results here.) Today's is no different. The elections department counted up a little over 33,000 ballots on top of the 242,000+ they dropped last night, and nothing moved around too much.

Batshit Republican Ann Davison’s share of the vote in the City Attorney’s race inched up closer to 35%, and three-year incumbent Pete Holmes inched down a little closer to 33%.

Former Seattle City Council President Bruce Harrell held at 38%, and current Seattle City Council President Lorena González held at 29%. Former Chief Seattle Club director Colleen Echohawk bumped up closer to 9%.

In the race to fill González’s open citywide city council seat, Fremont Brewery co-owner Sara Nelson moved closer to 43%, and Nikkita Oliver held at 35%. In the other at-large council seat, Seattle City Councilmember Teresa Mosqueda stayed at 55%.

The race for King County Executive saw no substantive change: Three-term incumbent Dow Constantine still led state Sen. Joe Nguyen 54% to 30%.

The levy is still passing, Stranger-endorsed school board candidates Vivian Song Maritz and Michele Sarju are still way ahead in Districts 4 and 5, respectively, and the King County Council races are still looking depressing, save for District 3, where the two Democrats still outweigh the vote share of 19-year incumbent Kathy Lambert, the numbest of all numbskulls. Here's to a more exciting ballot drop tomorrow! We very roughly estimate that King County Elections has a little over 200,000 ballots left to count.

"Here's one way to look back..."

Seattle should be like New York City and elect a retired cop, argues retired cop Carmen Best in the Seattle Times this afternoon.

Postmates will pay close to $1 million to settle with the city of Seattle: Nearly all of that will go to over 1,600 local gig workers. "Postmates settled allegations under Seattle’s Gig Worker Paid Sick and Safe Time Ordinance," announced the city this afternoon, "which included $949,815.49 in back wages, interest, liquidated damages, and civil penalties to 1,646 gig workers and $22,260.40 in fines to the City of Seattle." The city started investigating Postmates last fall after drivers alleged the company violated the city's new Gig Worker Paid Sick and Safe Time Ordinance, which passed last July. Thanks a lot, shitty Seattle City Council.

John Waters got a new job: Well, if serving on a board counts as a job. (Going off of Molly Shannon's hilariously evil dialogue in the most recent episode of The White Lotus, we're gonna say it isn't.) ArtForum reports that "the Baltimore Museum of Art yesterday announced five new board trustees, only one of whom will have a bathroom named after him at the institution." That bathroom, located on the museum's east side, will be named after filmmaker, Sub Pop artist, and new Baltimore Museum of Art board trustee John Waters. When Waters finally croaks, the museum will also receive 375 artworks and objects from his collection.

We're glad we're not in Spokane: First off, it's too close to Idaho. Second off, it's hot and smoky. It's looking like a high of 96 degrees over there today, with widespread smoke. Grab your N95s!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming about the drought in Washington to remind you that there is also a drought in Oregon and there is also also a drought in Colorado. From Buzzfeed News: "The current water crisis isn’t only being driven by the megadrought.... The last two decades of megadrought in the Southwest—amplified by a warming climate—have hit the fast-forward button."

A listicile for the end-times: Good news, we made the list... but just barely.

In our inbox, "Teen Vogue Takes" writes: "Republicans are trying to co-opt the #FreeBritney movement."

Remember these clowns? Well, the governor of Missouri just issued a pardon, meaning they're in the clear after waving their guns at protesters last summer.

A cop-dog bit a child in Eatonville: ACAB.

Hehe: "Editors note: A previous version of this story said the victim was a teen. The PCSO said the child was nine but looked older."

Teens kick skateboarding's ass: Britain's Sky Brown, 13 years and 28 days old, just won bronze at the women's park skateboarding final, becoming Great Britain's youngest-ever Olympic medallist. But Japan's even younger team ultimately beat out Brown, who also happens to be half Japanese. Two teens from Japan—12-year-old Kokona Hiraki and 19-year-old Sakura Yosozumi—took silver and gold at the park event, respectively. Click here to watch highlights from the final.

Japanese teens have dominated the Olympic skateboarding events: Last week, 13-year-old Momiji Nishiya won gold at the women's street skateboarding competition, followed by her 16-year-old teammate Funa Nakayama, who won bronze. The comparatively ancient 22-year-old Japanese skater Yuto Horigome took gold in last week's men's street skateboarding competition.

We loved this New York Times article about USA's Alexis Sablone, a 34-year-old skater from Brooklyn, talking about getting beat by the kids:

“I was like, ‘We’re finally here,’” Sablone said after finishing fourth. “Female skateboarders have reached critical mass. There’s enough now that there will be prodigies. And they’re here.”

Make cricket an Olympic sport next: Seattle now has a cricket team. Meet the Seattle Thunderbolts.