Rep Jayapal leaving the Capitol yesterday during a break in negotiations.
Rep Jayapal leaving the Capitol yesterday during a break in negotiations. Drew Angerer / Getty Images

Showdown over shutdown: The government will shut down at midnight tonight unless they can vote on a suite of infrastructure, refugee, debt, climate, and disaster relief bills. The Democrats’ left flank is basically refusing to act on anything else until they get a vote on infrastructure, but that’s being blocked by moderates — in particular, the two worst Democrats, Krysten Sinema and Joe Manchin.

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A Washington hate group leader is going to jail. It took just an hour and a half for a jury to find Kaleb Cole, leader of the Washington group Atomwaffen, guilty of harassing and intimidating journalists and civil rights organizers. Cole glued Nazi posters to his targets’ homes, which an Assistant US Attorney called a clear effort to threaten and terrorize. He’ll be sentenced in January.

The mayoral candidates squared off on housing last night. Hannah live-tweeted the event. Bruce Harrell seems to think we can soundbite our way out of the housing crisis, while Lorena González had specific ideas about increasing housing. She also wants an end to encampment sweeps, which are a great way for the city to look busy while accomplishing absolutely nothing. Of all Bruce’s quotes, I think this one from another forum on Wednesday tells you the most you need to know:

Northgate: Not just a parking lot anymore! Here’s a delightful guide to some of the nice stuff just a train ride away once the Northgate station opens this weekend. Looks nice! But it would look a lot nicer if they were erecting skyscrapers around the transit hub instead of the same too-small buildings that went up around the Capitol Hill station.

Say hello to adorable Animal Crossing weather. We are in the midst of a pretty weather pattern called a “baroclinic leaf,” which sounds like something Tom Nook will charge you 50,000 Bells to build. Expect some more rain today, a nice sunny weekend, and then more moisture next week. Get those Damprid buckets into your closet before the mildew returns!

If you think a delayed commute is inconvenient, imagine being undocumented. The organization Bay Area Coalition for Economic Justice and Citizenship for All shut down the Golden Gate Bridge early this morning. The group wants immigration programs to be included in budget negotiations today, though their statement on just how they should be involved is a little unclear. I am once again asking social justice organizers to get a website so sympathetic journalists can amplify your demands.

Washington can’t wait for … something. Speaking of causes I wish were easier to get behind, the Washington Can’t Wait 2.0 campaign kicks off today. Take a look at their promotional materials, and I’m sure you’ll agree: Washington can’t wait … for what? I dunno, they forgot to include that in this Twitter flyer. Maybe it’s for the next season of The Mandelorian? (Actually, the campaign reboot is for progressive priorities in future statewide planning — a great cause! But you actually have to TELL people what your cause is!)

Here’s your “system collapse” of the day. The cargo industry is warning that supply chains are going to get even wackier in 2022 unless world governments give workers vaccine priority and implement new rules that would facilitate movement across borders. There’s no international standard for testing and vaccination of cargo workers, and as a result it’s taking longer and longer to move goods around the planet.

I’m siding with Miyam Biyalik on this one. Jeopardy host and problematic fave Miyam Biyalik just gave a stunning confession to James Corden. Years ago, she went to see Neil Patrick Harris in Rent, and when she declined to give a standing ovation, he stopped talking to her. Good grief. I’m no fan of Rent, but come on, didn’t you at least want to get some blood flowing to your legs after all that sitting? I can’t believe the person who comes off the least bad in this situation is James Cordon, the Minions of late night hosts.

Tesla’s latest safety feature seems … unsafe. Tesla continues beta-testing with our lives, adding a new “feature” to cars that rewards drivers for behaving in a way that the car deems “safe.” The problem is that the cars seem to have a warped idea of what safe means, and they penalize drivers for normal — in fact, legally required — things like stopping for yellow lights or allowing pedestrians to cross the street. Essentially they’re encouraging humans to drive like their AI — what could go wrong?

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The Internet of Shit is about to get even shittier. A major security protocol expires at the end of the day today, which is a complicated technical situation that basically means devices older than 4ish years may suddenly stop working. If your old iPhones, Android devices, game consoles, and miscellaneous “smart” fridges, vacuums, and toothbrushes suddenly start throwing weird errors at midnight, welp, you’re fucked. The organization that manages this security feature, Let’s Encrypt, advises affected people to “look into whether serving a certificate chain with our new cross-sign makes sense.” Baby, that sentence doesn’t even make sense.

Fiery Explosion is the new Fireball. The new Wild Beyond the Witchlight expansion for Dungeons & Dragons replaces the Fireball spell with a new action called “Firey Explosion,” which — get this — is not affected by Counterspell! Because it’s not a spell, it’s an action! Are you kidding me? Replacing a third level evocation with an action??? Have we learned nothing from the Sahuagin Warlock of Uk'otoa? I want to hear what the candidates for mayor intend to do about this.

Here comes the bus. Hello bus. Welcome. Here it is. There’s good news and bad news on Madison Ave, which SDOT is about to completely demolish. Unfortunately, they plan to put the road back together. The silver lining is that the reassembled version will have new bus stops, which is nice, but not enough. The updated version should be off-limits to cars altogether.