Hes getting there, he just needs to make sure we burn as much methane as possible before we do.
He's getting there, he just needs to make sure we burn as much methane as possible before he signs on to anything that helps people pay for childcare. Drew Angerer / GETTY

Seattle offers direct cash payments for some struggling due to COVID: Mayor Jenny Durkan announced Monday that Seattle has created a $16 million relief fund to give out one-time cash payments of up to $3,000. To be eligible, you must be at least 18, have an income below 50% of Seattle's median income ($40,500 for a single person) and either live in Seattle or live with someone who is enrolled in Seattle Public Schools, enrolled in Seattle Promise, or is an "artist/cultural worker who has owned or rented an art studio or rehearsal space within the boundaries of the City of Seattle at any time since March 2020." Learn more and apply here.

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Port Angeles naturopath falsely claimed garlic extract and larch tree starch could prevent COVID-19: Federal prosecutors say the (now former) naturopathic physician was convicted last week "of a federal felony related to misbranding products that he claimed could prevent and treat diseases, including COVID-19 and MRSA," KIRO reports. After Richard Marshall posted on Facebook about a "Dynamic Duo" that could "crush" viruses, he told an undercover investigator the "duo" was garlic extract and larch tree starch. The cost: $140 plus shipping. You laugh, but have you ever tried to extract larch starch beneath an arch in March?

Federal Judge denies effort to block Washington's vax mandate: A group of government workers is suing the government, claiming the state requiring them to take a life-saving vaccine to keep their jobs violates their civil rights. A federal judge in Eastern Washington on Monday denied their bid to stop the mandate with a temporary restraining order, the Associated Press reports. U.S. District Court Judge Thomas Rice wrote in his ruling that the "Supreme Court has long endorsed state and local government authority to impose compulsory vaccines" and said the governor's proclamation "is well-supported by extensive medical evidence, recommendations by professional organizations, and aligns with other measures already in place in other governmental settings.”

Foxes really are running the hen houses: Washington Attorney General Bob Ferguson filed a lawsuit against the nation's chicken companies, alleging the've been "illegally engaging in a variety of anticompetitive conduct to coordinate supply" and have conspired to keep prices high, the Seattle Times reports.

Time to learn what the fuck "adaptogenic mushroom coffee" is: A "grain bowl, bone broth, and mushroom coffee cafe" is opening on Capitol Hill in the old Cupcake Royale spot on East Pike, Capitol Hill Seattle Blog reports. Honestly, we deserve this.

Two killed, four injured in Boise mall shooting: Police say they exchanged gunfire with the suspect "resulting in" the injury of a police officer. The suspect was taken into custody and in critical condition. The officer was treated and released. Authorities have not released any information about the victims. Cheri Gypin "was in the mall with a friend where they walk for an hour three or four times a week" when she heard "several large bangs, but thought something had fallen from the ceiling," the AP reports. Gypin said she and her friend "just ran and kept running until we got to the outer perimeter of the parking lot.”

Wind cleanup continues: West Seattle Blog reports that the South Park Bridge is likely to remain closed until midday Tuesday as cleanup continues.

As if we needed another reason to hate leaf blowers: The "noise and chemical emissions" from the two-stroke engine on the demented machines hurts the workers who wield them, as does the dust they kick up. "All this adds up to increased risk of lung cancer, asthma, cardiovascular disease, premature birth and other life-threatening conditions," according to an opinion piece in the New York Times titled, "The First Thing We Do, Let’s Kill All the Leaf Blowers."

Something must be happening in Congress, because we've got "pushing" and "quiet scrambling" going on. Let's start with the "quiet scrambling," which involves Democratic efforts to reform immigration in Biden's budget. Biden promised a pathway to citizenship, and right now Congress will give him two options; a green card application for those who came to the U.S. before 2010, or a "proposal to give undocumented immigrants a protected status that would enable them to work legally, pay taxes and live without fear of deportation," the Washington Post reports. Dems want the latter proposal, which would "clear the way for millions of longtime undocumented immigrants to gain permanent residency," but they don't know if the parliamentarian will approve.

Now for the pushing: After killing the top climate provision in Biden's budget, West Virginia coal baron Joe Manchin is now "pushing" to kill a methane emissions fee in the legislation, which will make Joe Biden's planned speech at the UN climate summit in Glasgow this Sunday all the more awkward, the New York Times reports. Aides and politicos keep saying Congress will wrap up the newly gutted version of the bill — which now sits at around $1.75 trillion, all paid for (at the moment) by a wealth tax on billionaires — by this weekend.

Bezos is coming for the International Space station: Blue Origin partnered with Boeing to pitch a design for new a "private space station," complete with a rocket, a three-story home office, and a personal pan spaceship that "looks like a floating vending machine with a human peering out from a large window and manipulating various robotic arms," the Seattle Times reports. NASA will throw a couple hundred million at the project if it wants to play.

Evangelicals playing catch-up with the Catholics: A whistleblower claimed he called out Liberty University "leadership" for suppressing sexual assault and harassment claims and then got fired for doing that, Politico reports. The story also references another complaint from "a dozen women" claiming administrators "mishandled sexual assault" violations.

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Sudanese military guns down seven, injures 140 in protest crackdown: Thousands rallied in the twin cities of Khartoum and Omdurman to protest the military's arrest of interim Prime Minister Abdalla Hamdok and the subsequent dissolution of the government on Monday, Al Jazeera reports. General Abdel Fattah al-Burhan declared a state of emergency and then his security forces opened fire. The UN condemned the killings, and the US seems a little sad about the fact that the one special envoy we sent to the region, Jeffery, couldn't turn the ship around.

Since Halloween is right around the corner, I leave you with this truly cursed song: