It's fucking dark out there. Dark by like 6 PM. It's my least favorite part of living here, but I'm trying something new this year: walking. I walk five miles a day, even when it's raining, even when it's fucking ass-dark before I'm out of work. And you know what? It's working! I'm in a better mood; I feel lighter; there's a spring in my step—until I step in your dog's fucking SHIT. It's everywhere, Seattle. Dog. Shit. EVERYWHERE.

I used to be proud to live in a city with more dogs than babies, but not anymore. Babies wear diapers and their owners pick up after them. Dogs shit wherever they want. My apartment neighbor's pit bull shits in my hallway. My other neighbor's whiny-ass chihuahua shits right in front of our building. There's so much dog shit in this neighborhood that someone has started putting little American flags in the pieces of poop as some kinda performance art. I'd find it funny if I weren't busy scraping shit out of my shoes every fucking night. During the summer, at least I could spot the street shit, but now it's so dark that I step right in it. I'm trying to keep my cool, Seattle, but this shit is slick. Pick up the poo. Please.

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