Can't somebody do something about these damn leaf blowers? Anybody? I mean, what the fuck? Why are people even doing this? Burning gas to move leaves from this spot to another. The leaves don't go away. They're just blown like this is doing something society wants. In my whole life, I've never seen one of the leaf blower men (always men—don't get me started about that) put the leaves in a bag. Not once. And if I saw them doing it, I'd drop dead. Right then and there. With my dog next to me, and my dog also hates fireworks. Bagging leaves is something rakers do. Not a gas-powered blower person.

And the noise. All of this noise just to blow air at leaves. It makes no sense. Leaves also have a purpose, you know. This is how a tree returns goodies to the ground. Grass fucking loves dead leaves, and so do the worms. Why are we even doing this when the planet has one foot in the grave because of fossil fuels? I don't know the numbers, but they must be really bad. Let's ban the fuckers now! But who will do this? Year after year, the noise, the useless blowing of leaves. All of this COP26 hype means diddly-squat if you can’t even just totally ban useless leaf blowers. End the nightmare now!


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