I suggest a better attitude.

Can I stand up for myself and do the things that make sense for me? Apparently not. I cannot understand what a person could be so afraid of as to not speak their mind and do what they need in these situations. If it hasn't already, life's real trial and tribulations will chew you up and spit you out.

I totally Identify with this one. Thankfully I have established with my family that traveling for one long weekend (Thanksgiving) isn't justified, but I have these same feelings at Xmas.

Though at least I don't have to share the table with an insufferable sanctimonious jackass that willfully misses the point of "I, Anonymous," like raindrop. So I'll count myself lucky.

Years ago when I started my first job out of college, late December and early January was our busiest season. I straight up told family that I was never going to be able to make it out for Christmas, but we could get together in summer. Not a single complaint back to me. If you've just started a new job, you can fib a little about seasonal workload if you feel like it.

No, you shouldn't have to fib to get out of a guilt trip over not traveling for a holiday. But if it saves people's feelings...

I don't understand adults who complain about where and with whom they have to spend Thanksgiving. You're an adult. Set some boundaries for christ's sake. You are not obligated to spend time with people you don't want to spend time with.

@3: Oh Knat, some day way in the future after the last parent dies and the traditions no longer occur, you'll look back at that annoying banter at the table with melancholy.

Occasions that force people to have conversations with others who don't live the same echo chamber have social value, as uncomfortable as it can sometimes be to have your beliefs challenged. Robert Heinlein (Stranger in a Strange Land) supposedly said that one should never attribute to malice that which can easily be explained by ignorance. If you don't take the time to talk to others, it's a lot easier to assume they're just evil, which is intellectually lazy.

@6 raindrop, When we all answer with "I've established with family that traveling the long weekend (Thanksgiving) isn't justified, I've these same feelings at Xmas." To put it in least words and find perfection. I'm reading Sarah Glidden's "Rolling Blackouts" Mid-East journalism study. Its watercolors and script were uplifting and as well somehow heart lifting. Almost capitalized the letter "L" to complement the word 'heart' with its companion "HEARTLIFTING" understood in those terms. Lifting of the heart.....

@14: Olde English or Steel Reserve?

@12, thanks for the nazi reference.

Dear Anon- Look up “solipsism” and ponder for a bit.

I admit I woke up on Thanksgiving to the peculiar pleasure of having no family in my current state of residence. I went to a dinner with no alcohol and managed to avoid triggering my host's obsession with conspiracy theories. Last night the family had a Zoom event, boycotted by one brother due to not speaking with the other brother. We had a lengthy visit this summer so no pressure to actually go to Wisconsin, although I have promised to go there next summer. Happy Holidays!

Pre-COVID, the best US Thanksgivings are spent in Canada. I felt no obligation and total freedom when in Victoria, BC, during the US holiday.

One year, the Mrs. and I would like to travel to Japan or China to dodge Christmas......

Oh, and mix or swap Thanksgiving and Halloween. A Vampire themed Thanksgiving meal is a scream.