Raises for cops: According to Fox13, Mayor Bruce Harrell and Interim Police Chief Adrian Diaz are discussing giving every cop a $5,000 retention bonus to solve the staffing shortage. Meanwhile, other industries are experiencing high levels of resignation as well: Health care, social work, education, and service industry, to name a few. And those guys probably do fewer ruses.

Jason Rantz talks shoplifters: After reading a new post from Jason Rantz, I guess I’m buying Judge Kuljinder Dhillon a drink. The judge released a person who is homeless and a prolific shoplifter after he tried to steal a 70-inch TV from Target. You gotta admire the boldness of walking out with a box the size of a smart car. Most of us sweat taking lip gloss, but it is so hard to resist the feminine urge to gather. Rantz said this judge is notoriously easy on homeless people, which seems fair — crime is often a symptom of poverty, and I think Target will survive the damage. But of course, so many people need a pound of flesh when a poor person does something silly that hurts no human person.

Jay Inslee? More like, delay Inslee: Yesterday, Gov. Jay Inslee signed an 18-month delay of the state's new long-term care program. Big day for my mom, who hates the long-term care program.

Kill that mockingbird: Mukilteo School District voted to remove To Kill A Mockingbird from its required reading list. Before you cry 1984, the book isn’t banned — according to KOMO, some teachers still plan to teach it — but now classrooms have the flexibility to pick readings that reflect more “current community values,” the Washington Education Association said. I like what UW Teaching Professor and Assoc. Director of Writing Programs Michelle Liu said best:

For me, a classic is not important just because it’s become a classic, but how it helps people in a certain time and place have debates. Prizes are always a marker but this book really spoke to the community at that time. Is it still speaking? We’ll see.

In other book news: This one feels a little more concerning than a vote to simply not mandate kids read the white savior book. A principal at a Kent, Washington school quietly yanked LGBTQIA+ books from a middle school library. Particularly heinous as middle school is arguably when we need queer lit the most.

Where to get an abortion: The South Seattle Emerald recently updated its guide to abortion access in Seattle. There’s a map and everything. Check it out.

Kraken win: Hey, nice job, guys.

Tracy Taylor doing God’s work: Looked like a busy morning of traffic reporting had Tracy Taylor between issues on southbound 1-5 and a sheet of ice on the 520 bridge. Traffic changes all the time, so keep up with her on Twitter.

ICYMI: Sorry, but I’m the type of girlie to post the sky even though we can all see it. Here’s some sunset vibes from last night that I thought y’all might like.

Sad early morning: A man was found dead on the ground at the entrance to Kobe Terrace Park in Chinatown International District. Police are still investigating.

Replacing that bloodthirsty dog: I know the only Joseph R. Biden news any of you commies care about is the whole Universal Healthcare thing, but this might be a close second. The dude got a freaking cat. Her name is Willow, after first lady Jill Biden’s hometown of Willow Grove, but due to the strong association with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jill’s pick feels very queer coded. Can’t believe we have the first lesbian cat in the White House.

Minnie Mouse to go Hillary Clinton: The liberals have done it again and made yet another animated piece of ass completely unsexy. She may not be the dime piece that the Green M&M was with her now retired go-go boots, but Disney is trading in Minnie’s signature skirt for a pants suit. The switch is temporary, however the internet is having a meltdown, which of course seems appropriate for an issue of such cultural significance and impact.

Checkin’ the election: There is truly no reprieve from election season. Crosscut’s Melissa Santos (in this house, we stan) wrote yesterday that Seattle's 2022 election season is already a doozy, barely a month into the year. And OMG I just saw Charles put this in SLOG PM last night — we really do stan. Whatever I’m keeping it unless Rich takes it out. If you are reading this, Rich was a homie this morning.

Rich got Wordle in two guesses yesterday: I do not know what this means or how impressive this is, but he felt the need to share this and who am I if not a mouthpiece for communities even if I’m not a part of them?

But like, this is what y’all look like on Twitter: