What a forced diet of KUOW will do to the brain (just kidding, listen to me on Week in Review on Friday).
What a forced diet of KUOW will do to the brain (just kidding, listen to me on Week in Review on Friday). EzumeImages/Getty

In case you weren't aware: There was an election last night in Seattle. Voters took to the voting booth ballot box to decide whether to renew two Seattle Public Schools levies: Buildings, Technology and Academics/Athletics Capital Levy and the Educational Programs and Operations Levy. Well, excellent work in voting the way that we tell you to because both measures are sitting pretty at around 76% approval, reports the Seattle Times. Here's a pat on the back from my colleague Rich Smith:

Washington's COVID-19 at-home test portal is open for the third time: According to the Department of Health's website, 1.45 million tests will be available, which will serve 290,000 households. If you missed your chance the last two times, go to sayyescovidhometest.org to order your one (1) test kit containing up to five (5) tests. Get them before they run out! (Again, what a sad lil' health care system we have).

Another day, another grim milestone: According to Johns Hopkins University, the world has now surpassed 400 million recorded COVID cases as of Tuesday, reports the New York Times. That milestone comes just one month after the globe hit 300 million cases—100 million cases in 30 days! Good thing governors are beginning to roll back mask mandates!

An update on the Richland, WA shooter: Following a manhunt, 39-year-old Aaron Christopher Kelly was arrested yesterday for allegedly shooting two people at a Fred Meyer on Monday, reports The Independent. He's being held at Benton County Jail, where his bail is set at $1 million and his arraignment has been postponed to February 23. The two victims have been identified as Justin Krumbah, an Instacart shopper who was killed, and Mark Hill, who is currently in stable condition at the hospital.

If you've ever wanted to buy a Peloton, just wait a little longer: This week, the fitness company announced that they would replace their CEO John Foley and cut 2,800 employees in attempt to right their sinking ship. According to CNN, Peloton is also consolidating its warehouses and working on bigger delivery agreements with third-party providers. That going-out-of-business sale is really gonna hit.

Local artists honor the late Michael Spafford: The great Seattle painter and professor died of lung cancer on January 29 at the age of 86. He was a well-loved professor at the University of Washington and a huge advocate for public art. Spafford stoked controversy in 1982 when his site-specific mural series "The Twelve Labors of Hercules" in Washington's House Chambers were deemed too saucy by state legislators, who must've never read a Greek myth in their entire life. This sweet Crosscut feature from Marcie Sillman rounds up kind words and reflections from Spafford's students, family, and friends.

Don't touch that dial! In this delightful and strange story, some Mazda drivers in the Puget Sound region found themselves in a peculiar pickle. Once they tuned their car radio to KUOW it became permanently stuck on 94.9 FM. According to the public radio station, the problem is only affecting KUOW and Mazdas from around 2016 and they "have no idea why." Apparently, over the past three weeks Mazda dealerships have been "flooded with calls" about the issue, but no one can pinpoint the exact cause. Is that Big Public Radio at work? KUOW is working on it with the company behind the car's radio technology. There are much worse fates than listening to the well-reported stories and in-depth analysis put together by the good folks over at KUOW!

Ok, what sicko is pointing LASERS at airplanes?? Days after four flights at Sea-Tac Airport reported laser strikes, the Federal Aviation Administration says that almost a dozen more laser strikes were reported on Monday night, reports KING 5. Apparently, lasers can damage pilots' eyesight and cause extreme disorientation.

Gird your loins, Russian fuckery is on its way: The European Central Bank as well as the New York Department of Financial Services are warning financial institutions to prepare themselves for "a possible Russian-sponsored cyber attack" as the situation on the Ukrainian border deteriorates, reports Reuters. I know this is serious, but what's it going to take for Putin's computer goons to attack Navient????????

The -ussification of citrus: I personally would have gone for "citrus-y" to avoid this "citrus pussy" situation.

A woman's body was pulled out the Snoqualmie River last weekend: After receiving a tip, officials say they found the remains on Saturday afternoon near Oxbow Farm in Carnation, reports KIRO. They have not yet confirmed the identity.

Sen. Mitch McConnell did his one sane thing this year: Yesterday, the senator from Kentucky publicly disagreed with the Republican National Committee's decision to censure Reps. Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger for their condemnation of the January 6 storming of the Capitol, reports the New York Times. In a press conference, he described the riot as "a violent insurrection for the purpose of trying to prevent the peaceful transfer of power after a legitimately certified election." The bare minimum!

My favorite headline that I found this morning: "Man breaks into home, takes bath, eats shrimp leaves $200 for damages." There was a blizzard outside for chrissakes!

Visual effects trailblazer Douglas Trumbull is dead at 79: The innovative three-time Oscar nominee passed on Monday after a battle with cancer, a stroke, and a brain tumor, reports Vulture. Though you may not recognize his name, you might recognize his work on 2001: A Space Odyssey, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Star Trek, and Blade Runner. Rest in peace.

For your listening pleasure: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus's "Face Down." I saw Bosco—the Demon Queen of Seattle who is currently kicking ass on Rupaul's Drag Race—perform this last night at Queer/Bar and it unlocked a deep memory of junior high within me. What's a red jumpsuit apparatus anyway?