Drugs. Disease. Alien abduction. Television loves a good Very Special Episode, and The Beacon is ready to serve you a montage of the tear-jerkingest, message-deliveringest, uncomfortable-monologest episodes of must-ponder television ever created. Edited by Bret Berg of the American Genre Film Archive and the Museum of Home Video, this found-footage extravaganza will be hosted by the Beacon crew. I’m hoping for a two-hour compilation of Julia Sugarbaker speeches. (Did you know Dixie Carter had a deal with the producers of Designing Women that for every lefty speech her character delivered, they had to let her sing a song?) But I’m also fond of any “I can’t believe it’s not heterosexual” scene: Phyllis learning about her brother on Mary Tyler Moore, Homer shrieking about John Waters, the gals staring aghast at their landlady’s lover on Kate & Allie, Blake Carrington telling his son he should open an institute “for the study and treatment of faggory.” God, television is the best/worst.