Dear Seattle,

It seems we have taken this 50 Shades of Gray thing a bit too far. Everywhere around me, every single new condo built or repainted in this last building boom is now a complete array of grays—all anemic variations of black and white. We desperately need a breakup with this kind of non-consensual sensory deprivation.

I suspect somewhere in the Architectural Digest reality, someone insisted this 50 Shades of Gray was sexy for sales. But as I look out at the latest bland addition to my “hot” neighborhood, it not only looks more drab than the usual Seattle gray sky, it looks feverishly diseased.

I’m not alone in being bothered by this bland grayscale look infecting Seattle’s neighborhoods. I’ve had conversations with neighbors where we fantasize pelting these pallid places with paintball ammo. Anything for a splash of color! Even pastels would be an improvement! Sun-deprived Seattleites don’t just need more light; we need more refracted light in the form of color—not less of it.

So maybe to celebrate this spring, while the cherry blossoms are doing their part by carpeting the sidewalks with pink blossoms, let’s start celebrating by splashing some color on all those drab structures.

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