Why dont you go somewhere else?
"Why don't you go somewhere else?" Jeff J Mitchell / Getty Images Staff

Starbucks CEO has his first good idea. When 25-year-old barista and union organizer Madison Hall asked about unionizing efforts during an internal Q&A at Starbucks, CEO Howard Schultz reportedly responded, “If you hate Starbucks so much, why don’t you go somewhere else?” Now that’s leadership! In related news, Starbucks just fired a union organizer in North Carolina after a sink fell on her — they claim she pulled the sink off the wall like some kind of enraged superhero. It’s a real head-scratcher whose story is more believable! Here’s a fundraiser for the fired barista.

Mmm, taste that zesty car exhaust. This weekend The Seattle Times Newspaper and Automotive Industry Cheerleader printed a real mess of an essay from three local defenders of the status quo about why you’re all wrong for wanting to reduce the amount of traffic in Pike Place Market. The market needs to be choked with a nonstop traffic jam, you see, because … er … uh … one of the author’s dads said so. “The market would be lessened without the traffic spine” are words that a person actually thought were worthy of committing to the page. They offer no real reasons for wanting to keep things as they are, beyond calling the traffic “zesty” and “unique” (???). The pro-car piece was written by Peter Steinbrueck, who pays a lot of lip-service to the environment; Ernie Dornfield, president of the historic preservation group Friends of the Market and former city archivist; and commercial real estate salesman Tom Graff. Anyway, an overwhelming amount of evidence shows that excessive parking kills businesses. Here’s another gorgeous day at the market:

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Watch where you drive. Try to avoid Seattle’s bad neighborhoods, by which I mean any and all freeways, because freeway shootings are on the rise — 20 so far this year, compared to 12 last year, cops claim. But only two data points isn’t really enough to determine a trend, so how does that compare with pre-pandemic levels? Hm, good question. I’ve been looking for that data everywhere and can’t find it. Let me know if you’ve got any leads.

Don’t forget about taxes. You’ve got until Monday the 18th to file your federal taxes (or to file an extension). Washington state tax deadline is this Friday, the 15th.

The Soul Pole is back. A group of Rotary Boys Club members carved the pole in 1969 from a telephone pole, and it was taken down last year for a little cleanup work. Now it’s back up in its old home at 23rd and Yesler.

Elon’s out. Gross oligarch Elon Musk will not join Twitter’s board of directors, for reasons that everyone involved is being awfully cagey about. He’s still the company’s largest shareholder, though. And while he would have been limited in how much stock he could own if he were on the board, now he’s free to buy even more. In other Musk news, remember those satellite-internet hookups he took credit for sending to Ukraine? Turns out the US paid for that.

Could you put Bernie on the phone, please? Bernie Sanders will be the special guest on a call organized by the Amazon Labor Union folks this afternoon at 5 pm. They’ll be talking about how anyone can and should unionize their workplace.

Why are you asking us??? For nearly fifty years, there’s been a weird little half-pedestrianized block north of Occidental because back in 1976 the owner of a parking lot objected to making the neighborhood more pedestrian friendly. It is wonderful that City Council Member Andrew Lewis, in whose district this weird street can be found, would like to rectify this mistake. But, my guy, you are literally on the City Council, why are you phrasing this as a tentative question like you’re asking our permission, like “haha guys what if we pedestrianized a street, lol j/k … unless?” Presumably being on City Council means you are in charge of something, right?

We're number four in coffee. The 2022 US Coffee Championships wrapped up this weekend, with Seattle putting in a pretty good showing. Coming in at #4 in the Brewers Cup was Sam Spillman of Caffe Vita.

Something to think about while you’re filling up your car. Ukrainian utility companies put together this particularly arresting video about the cost of sipping Russian fossil fuels. It’s a tough watch.

Would you like to fly Starbucks executives from place to place? Good news, Starbucks Aviation (which is a thing) is hiring a pilot for its company aircraft. Your job duties include flying the plane, obviously, but you will also be expected to “model the Starbucks guiding principles and act with tact and decorum.” Don’t worry, the company’s copious golden parachutes are all metaphorical.

Or you could work for a mountain. Rainier Watch, the website that tells you if the mountain is out (and also gives a bunch of money to Washington’s National Park Fund) is hiring a Brand Rep to help sell merch at markets and pop-ups. They’re also building a neat new online tool to track the mountain’s visibility.

Do you recognize these pirates? Three guys ran into a rare coin shop in Bellevue West Seattle (Update: The store has Bellevue in the name, but it's located in West Seattle, whew), smashed up the cases, and ran off with a bunch of loot. The store is closing from now until July to put a bunch of new security measures in place. In the meantime, take a look at these security pics and see if they look familiar:

Turdus strikes again. That loud obnoxious noise-maker you hear every morning (or sweet little treasure, depending on your tastes) is probably an American Robin, turdus migratorius. Read all about it.

Girmay goes to Germany. King County Councilmember Girmay Zahilay is in Germany this week to learn from his counterparts abroad, and one of the lessons of interest has been about public broadband. The timing is fortuitous, because …

… King County residents are working on something very similar. Residents of East King County are organizing to escape the clutches of Puget Sound Energy and form a Public Utility District. Most of the work is all super wonky and boring, but if they succeed, they’d be able to transition away from PSE (which organizers say is heavily dependent on fossil fuels) and towards more sustainable energy sources. They need volunteers to make it happen, though — sign up for the next work session, on April 28, here.

Just a bear doing bear stuff. While you were busy getting high and watching Encino Man this weekend, this handsome creature was prowling the forest and fields, snuffling in the dirt and thinking about salmon. That’s the life.

Meow. If that bear video has you in the mood to hang out with a ferocious animal, consider taking one of these furry adventurers home with you.

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