Specifically, fuck all the forced birthers on the bench.
Specifically, fuck all the forced birthers on the bench. Kevin Dietsch

It's all anyone can talk about: Yesterday, Politico reported that the Supreme Court has voted to overturn Roe v. Wade, Planned Parenthood v. Casey, and several decades of abortion protections, according to a draft majority opinion written by Justice Samuel Alito. Joining him in the majority were noted fucklords Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, Amy Coney Barrett, and Clarence Thomas. Justices Elena Kagan, Stephen Breyer, and Sonia Sotomayor dissented. It's unclear where Chief Justice John Roberts falls on that line up. According to Politico, "[N]o draft decision in the modern story of the court has been disclosed publicly while a case was still pending." Some law clerk risked their entire career to get this news to the public—hats off to that person wherever they are.

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Update: Justice Roberts authenticated the draft and launched an investigation into the leak. Cop!

You can read the full 98-page draft. Alito comes off as an absolute turd: The decision would rule in favor Mississippi, which attempted to ban most abortions after 15 weeks, and overturn a ruling made by the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans. There are a lot of terrible things written by Alito in the decision—like characterizing pro-choice supporters as eugenicists—but here's just a taste:

Roe was egregiously wrong from the start. Its reasoning was exceptionally weak, and the decision has had damaging consequences. And far from bringing about a national settlement of the abortion issue, Roe and Casey have enflamed debate and deepened division. It is time to heed the Constitution and return the issue of abortion to the people’s elected representatives.
Shit's about to get real medieval. My colleague and lawyer Will Casey will have a more in-depth overview later today on Slog.

And if you think that this decision has nothing to do with you: You're wrong. As trans activists have been arguing for months, much of the language used in this draft opinion could be used to overturn gay marriage and other civil rights.

The news of the leaked draft opinion provoked some weak-ass protests from our Democratic "leaders": House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senator Chuck Schumer dropped a press release full of some inane bullshit about how the Court is ripping up the Constitution. The release included no concrete information about how they plan to fight the decision. Sen. Bernie Sanders is calling on Congress to codify Roe. President Biden—who previously supported the Hyde Amendment—said he believed "a woman's right to choose is fundamental," and said he'd work to pass and sign a bill codifying Roe into law. We're about to get diddly-squat, y'all.

While the situation is still somewhat fluid: The news is absolutely abysmal. GOP-controlled State Legislatures have been chipping away at abortion rights for decades and activists warned us that Roe v. Wade would be next on the chopping block. Now, under a Democratic president and a Democrat-controlled Congress, people with uteruses will have markedly less protection and fewer rights than their parents and grandparents. And without a doubt, if made official, this will have an outsized effect on poor people of color in the country. Despair for but a moment—now is time for action. Donate locally and do what you can to support indie abortion clinics and providers in your area.

And if protests are your thing: There will be a rally in support of abortion rights at Westlake Park today at 6 pm. Also, lots of Washington elected officials have reiterated their support for abortion providers in the state.

I feel like I need a second before transitioning into different news: O, to be a capybara...

Mega fire in West Seattle: At around 2 am, firefighters responded to reports of fire on 46th Ave SW and SW Charlestown Street, which apparently started in the basement of a house and spread to the attic, reports KIRO. The blaze has since been put out and no injuries were reported.

Pay attention to the heavens this month: Around the 15th or 16th, there will be a total lunar eclipse that will be visible from the Pacific Northwest, reports Space. Totality will last an hour and a half—let's hope there are no clouds. And there's a possibility of a "brand-new" meteor shower at the end of May, but for now we'll have to just wait and see if it happens.

Speaking of the heavens: The weather.

Union loses out at a second Staten Island Amazon warehouse: The New York Times reports that the Amazon Labor Union lost "by a wide margin" during a vote on Monday, just weeks after a historic win at another larger warehouse close by. Of the 1,600 or so workers eligible to vote, the final count was 380 voting for and 618 voting against. "The organizing will continue at this facility and beyond," tweeted the Amazon Labor Union. "The fight has just begun."

Meanwhile, in Maryland: Workers at an Apple store at the Towson Mall near Baltimore are launching a union drive. It's the third such store to do so in the country.

Yesterday, a Seattle cop struck a pedestrian crossing the street with his car: The cop got a call about a robbery while sitting in a Lowe's parking lot (classic) along Rainier. When the officer hit the gas, they smashed the vehicle into a 35-year-old man crossing the street, reports KOMO. The man was rushed to the hospital, where he is reportedly in stable condition. The cop hasn't issued an apology, nor has SPD announced the number of the cop car yet.

I know literally none of you care, but I have the power here to report on it anyway: The Real Housewives empire will leave Hulu to stream exclusively on Peacock. According to Vulture, the switch will happen in September, and Peacock will also include a next-day streaming option for new episodes as the platform seeks to attract new users. Anything for my girls!

Whoever got to see this should consider themselves lucky: Seattle-based choreographer Alice Gosti and her dance company Malacarne took over the Georgetown Steam Plant last weekend for a new performance called "this is concrete II." (Full disclosure: Gosti and I used to be roommates). The five-hour performance took "inspiration from the permanency of the concrete structure, anti-environmental approaches of the past and the long-term costs associated with antiquated technology," according to the press release. Seattle Times' Erika Schultz went and documented some of the action—I love the teal against all that gray.

Authorities found a body in a barrel in Lake Mead: The discovery came about as a result of drought sucking the giant Las Vegas reservoir dry, reports AP. And what's freaky is that this could be the first of many. “I would say there is a very good chance as the water level drops that we are going to find additional human remains,” said Las Vegas police Lt. Ray Spencer.

And about the Met Gala: You'd have to be an idiot not to see the deep American-ness in the abortion news coming as celebrities pranced down the red carpet wearing expensive clothing to attend a Gilded Age-themed party. Talk about a society in decline. Anyway, as soon as I heard the news, any interest in the Gala turned to ash in my mouth—but Bad Bunny ate.

For your listening pleasure: Toro y Moi's "Last Year" off his brand new album Mahal.