Guess who did NOT stop by the Stranger offices?
Guess who did NOT stop by the Stranger offices? Anna Moneymaker/Getty

U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi came by Seattle today: She rudely did not request an audience with The Stranger, but managed to swing by the rank grotto where the Seattle Times Editorial Board spends their time cooking up the worst opinions you've ever read. Pelosi's in town to promote the COVID relief legislation and infrastructure bill Congress recently passed. She also had the most asinine things to say about the horrific draft opinion overturning Roe v. Wade leaked from the Supreme Court yesterday. The Times' David Gutman noted that on the subject, "Pelosi outlined no plan for House Democrats...beyond building public sentiment against the opinion" and pushed the need for more Dems in the Senate to get rid of the filibuster. Our leaders are really leaving us out here to die.

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Are you dragging your feet on updating your ID to be REAL ID-compliant? You got one year to head to the dreaded DMV to get one!

The most expensive residential home ever listed in the Seattle area has just hit the open market: For a whopping $85 million. Here's Anna Riley of Windermere's justification for that exorbitant price, as explained to the Seattle P.I.:

"This property is the jewel of Hunts Point," Riley said. "[It sits on a] 4.3-acre parcel with 327 feet of cherished lake front. Designed with an emphasis on spectacular entertainment spaces by award-winning architect Richard Landry, who is responsible for some of the most iconic luxury homes in Southern California. The dock is like a private marina."
The Gilded Age indeed. If we are going to have d-bags with $85 million homes living in the area, can we at least put them in the bell jar that is (as yet unrealized) Real Housewives of Puget Sound? This pleb wants entertainment!

One million Americans are now dead because of COVID: At one point, 100,000 COVID deaths seemed like a shock and now here we are, 27 months later, with a million Americans dead of this disease. "It's an exponential number of other people that are walking around with a small hole in their heart," Diana Ordonez, whose husband died of COVID in April 2020, told NBC News. To put that number in perspective, the dead now rival the population of San Jose, the 10th largest city in the country, bigger than the population of Seattle. A whole city gone. And a lifetime of picking up the pieces ahead.

Keep the cruise ships away, please: A Carnival Cruise Line ship docking into Elliott Bay from Miami has "dozens of passengers" infected with the virus, reports the Seattle Times. Though the cruise company would not reveal exactly how many came down with COVID, passengers report "more than 100 cases aboard" without sufficient staff to handle the crisis.

And it appears that the White House Correspondents Dinner: Might have been a superspreader event.

Ever wanted to see young Keanu Reeves talking about Teddy Bears? Well, you're in luck.

The King County SWAT department shot someone on the highway today: Right near the S 317th St exit of I-5 North, reports KOMO. The victim has died "though no other information was available."

Sundance Film Festival will return to Park City next year from January 19 to 29. But don't worry—there will be online options as well.

This is insane: The U.S. Department of Education fixed some problems with the Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program resulting in 110,000 public servants gettin their student loans forgiven, reports CNBC. Those ~110,000 people held $6.8 billion in loans, with an "average amount of debt reduction per borrower close to $60,000." $60,000!!! $6.8 billion!!! These aren't surgeons or high-powered lawyers or whatever—these are people who work at non-profits, AmeriCorps/Peace Corps, and other government organizations. And even if they weren't, no one should be $60,000 in debt just for their higher education (except for anyone who goes to work in finance. Fuck those guys). If Dems and the president had any semblance of a spine they'd go ahead and cancel federal student loan debt. After their failure to protect Americans' reproductive health, adequately address gun violence, and make any sort of coherent action on climate change in the past two years, it's the literal least they could do.

Derek Chauvin got a plea deal: Today, a federal judge accepted a plea deal from the white former killer Minneapolis cop and sentenced him to "between 20 and 25 years in prison for violating the rights of George Floyd," reports WaPo. Chauvin is already serving 22 and a half years after a jury found him guilty of "second-degree unintentional murder, third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter" last year.

Blergh: And now the weather. Which is actually pretty nice today! 64 degrees is nice and balmy...

An audience member tackled Dave Chappelle while he was performing onstage for Netflix Is a Joke Festival at the Hollywood Bowl last night, reports Vulture. The police said that person had "a replica gun that could discharge a knife." The suspect was taken to a hospital after the incident with injuries sustained from a beating by venue security. Chris Rock, who got the shit smacked out of him onstage by Will Smith at the Oscars, was in attendance and joked about the attacker being Will. Chappelle also joked that the assailant was a trans man upset about his transphobic jokes from a precious Netflix special that prompted walkout from queer Netflix staff.

Two eagles were spotted fighting for five hours in a backyard in Meadowbrook: Don't worry, it's very normal behavior.

Big news for DJs in the city: Uniqlo is primed to move into the space former occupied by Macy's downtown. According to the Puget Sound Business Journal, records show the apparel company "plans to fill approximately 13,500 square feet on the first floor" as well as install a 5-by-5 illuminated red Uniqlo sign on the outside of the building. Uniqlo will share the space with "high-end health club" Knot Springs. Things are about to get a little more stylish around here.

And on Capitol Hill: Paparepas is now open for business on Broadway. The Venezuelan restaurant that got its start as a food truck is selling arepas, empanada, and fried tequeños to the neighborhood. It's snuggled into the Broadway Building, home of Blick Art Supplies, Yo! Zushi, and Ian's Pizza. “The arepa is the bread of Venezuela," Grecia Carrero of Paparepas told CHS Blog. "It could be compared to the buns on a burger or the two slices of bread on a sandwich, but that comparison would simply not do it justice.” Go try one out for yourself!

For your listening pleasure: Gemi's "Buggin."