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Lethbridge's answer to the Space Needle: a decommissioned water tower on the outskirts of Lethbridge that's been converted into a restaurant with 360 degree views of... um... the traffic on the outskirts of Lethbridge. My escort—the lovely and talented Jenn—tells me that it's home to Ric's restaurant and points out the Jesus-died-for-your-sins billboard affixed to the tower. ("He Created... He Loved... He Died... The Ultimate True Life Drama. Now Playing... All Around You.") Something to think about before you tuck into your curly fries.

There was a distinct, er, scent in the air when I got off the airplane. The airport must be next to a sewage treatment plant, I figured. But when we got to the hotel, um, the same weird stench in the air. I asked Jenn about it and she explained that there are a lot of farms in the area and they're pretty liberal with the ol' manure and there's a pig manure lagoon here and there. "You mean it always smells like this?" I asked Jenn. "Yes, a lot of the time," she said.

"Wow," I marveled, "Lethbridge smells like ass."

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"Well," Jenn replied, "I guess you would know."

Snap.