6e8a/1234549180-captaincaveman.jpgThe NYT reports that the Neanderthal gnenome has mostly been mapped and that we could bring one to life for just $30m. So, Seattle should tax SUVs, fixies, and pit bulls and give the money to some of those folks in South Lake Union to build us our own Captain Caveman.

Shit, the PI loses that in just two years, and the city was playing with the idea of taking that over. Or the stupid Viaduct tunnel idea is $1.4 billion. (If I had a calculator, I'd tell you how many times $30m goes in to $1.4. But I think you could probably build a brigade of Neanderthals!)

What would we do with them? Dress them up in funny outfits; teach them to water ski; work at liquor stores? We just build them some nice Northwest craftsman bungalows in Magnolia, give 'em a little pocket change and watch the tourism money pour in. If you were a tourist, would you rather go to a sculpture park (if I had Google on this machine I'd tell you how much we paid for that!) or be in a city where Neanderthals water ski?

We don't want those fucks in Oklahoma to beat us on this one.