The Stranger Election Control Board snuck into Susan Hutchison's "victory party" at the Bellevue Hyatt a few minutes ago wearing a women's power suit. The SECB basically had to go to Susan Hutchison's party dressed like Susan Hutchison in order to avoid being ejected from Susan Hutchison's party. We're in deep, pantsuited cover.

The party is sparsely populated at the moment and is going down in a rather ugly ballroom at the Hyatt. Everyone is white and most of the "revelers"—careful, grandma, think of your hip!—are old, older, and dead. The only youngish person the SECB spotted was a child with Down syndrome handing out roses at the door. Nice touch! One man arrived in a kilt—full Scottish regalia—so it would appear that Susan has locked up the Kent Highlands vote. The first thing the SECB overheard upon our arrival was a man complaining about how Christine Gregoire stole the 2004 goobernotorious election from someone named "Dino." We think they're making that up. Forever Young is playing on the sound system (a tribute to whoever does the upkeep on Susan's face, no doubt), and there's a cash bar. Hutchison is outside the ballroom doing interviews and she looks frazzled and orange. Here she is!


There's a cash bar—which shows real contempt for the voters (WE ARE HURTING RIGHT NOW!)—But the SECB was smart enough to hit a liquor store on the way to the party and fill our purse with mini-bottles so we're just buying mixers. BECAUSE WE ARE HURTING!

UPDATE: Two dudes in expensive suits just told the SECB that they can't see Dow Constantine being in charge of the county because his name sounds too European and that's gay. Oddly enough most everyone at the Bellevue Hyatt—except the help!—appears to be of European descent and yet no one seems to be gay. How does that work exactly?

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SCANDAL: The SECB's photographer was kicked out by someone the SECB thinks is Hutchison's son—the non-gay fruit of Susan's non-gay-but-clearly-of-European-descent loins—who said, "You are not welcome here." Our photographer snuck back in, though, which is just what you would expect someone to do when PEOPLE ARE HURTING.

CELEB SIGHTING: There's a show on HGTV called My House Is Worth What and this chick is the host AND SHE IS HERE! The host chick is the biggest celeb here at Hutchpocalypse. And Slade Gordon is here, grim reapin'.

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