I'm well aware that you guys are going to draw and quarter me and feed my entrails to Star Jones*, because, against the better judgment of 8 out of 9 Supreme Court justices**, I recommended Cop Out in next week’s Stranger Suggests:

King County Council is seeking to hire one or more Senior Legislative Analysts.
To apply & view a complete job announcement go to Closes 4/26/21 at 11:59pm

Just to warn you guys: This is some lowbrow shit. I mean, it's a buddy cop comedy directed by Kevin Smith (eek!). BUT! If you can get past the parts that involve "plot" and focus exclusively on the parts when Seann William Scott and Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis are simply crackin' wise, YOU WILL EXPERIENCE MANY LAUGHS. Morgan is the only human on earth who can say the words "I like to see chimpanzees gettin' head" and the end result is me laughing. Real talk.

Okay. So. I know. I KNOW. I know this movie is not good. In fact, it is kind of totally bad. But even though the story is garbage (something about cartoon drug dealers and totally un-care-about-able family strife and cops who play by their own rules), two hours of the madness of Tracy Morgan cannot be praised enough. And Cop Out marks a return to a few fine old cinematic traditions, such as, well, buddy cop comedies. And casting Kevin Pollak*** in your movie. Plus, I’m a total sucker for mining the tiny joke bones out of stanky cinematic owl pellets****. I love a bad movie with good jokes. It’s like getting diagnosed with cancer, but then having the oncologist hand you a bag of Cheetos*****. Because, hey! Free Cheetos!

Most importantly, though, here’s the thing—a thing I neglected to get to in my Suggests: Cop Out is LITERALLY****** your chance to see Black Cop/White Cop on the big screen. Right? How can you pass that up? Please, God, let them make Who Dat Ninja in 2011.

RECOMMENDATION NOT RETRACTED (I was not kidding about that Tooth Fairy shit either, by the way). Real talk.

Support The Stranger

(More of the madness of Tracy Morgan available here.)

*Because she’s fat! Right, guys? That’s still a reference, right?...Guys?
**Daps, Ruth Bader Ginsberg!
***Not dead! You’re thinking of Richard Jeni.
*****Wow, it’s not like that at all. I have no idea what I’m saying.
******Not literally.