"This has never happened in our history": Californian gunman opens fire at the Pentagon checkpoint Thursday evening, wounding two police officers before being fatally shot. Investigators are saying there's evidence he might've been a 9/11 truther.

Sticky Fingers: Two Seattle men charged with allegedly pick-pocketing dozens of people, mostly women, women on buses and escalators over the course of a few years.

Unemployment: Unchanged for February, holds nationally at 9.7 percent.

Fuck Yes: California might be the first state to create a registry of convicted animal-abusers.

Ron Paul, Ladies' Man: His lady "defenders of liberty" are running for office and holding their own.

Governor Paterson's Got Problems: NY Governor loses more staff, seeks advice of criminal lawyer, as new information emerges showing the governor had more extensive contact with his top aide's former lover—a woman who claims she was beaten, and then pressured not to report it—than previously thought.

Everyone's Got Problems: Japanese princess bullied at school, fakes stomach pains to go home.

Dignified Deaths: 36 patients have used Washington's Death with Dignity Act to end their lives since voters approved the law in 2008.

Speaking of a Dignified Death: Autopsy shows that the Elma man who was allegedly electrocuted by urinating on live power lines actually died by touching them with his hand.

Beat It, I'm Working: During a years'-long sting to uncover prostitution in several Seattle strip clubs, one undercover officer allegedly spent at least $16,835 on more than 130 lap dances without making a single arrest.

The Slanket Siamese: A brand new way to neuter your relationship.