Thanks for the column. It's always fascinating, full of sociological insights into the way we fuck now. But I feel I must address an error.

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You claimed that a male who dislikes the appearance and taste of pussy must be a fag. I dispute this. You've previously expressed your personal distaste for the aesthetics of cunt, and chalked this up to your sexual preferences. Thing is, most pussy (regarded as the wet folds of flesh it is and not as the psychologically potent idea we attach to it) is pretty off-putting to most straight guys. Though there are exceptions, for most of us it's about the lady the equipment is attached to.

This is a straight-dude secret, by the way, and I'll deny it up and down if confronted by my sweet lady. If she asks, I love her pussy, and want nothing more than to spend hours addressing my tongue to its intricacies. I will say nothing about jaw cramps, or piles of sandwich meat, or how I don't really care for tuna that much. I will say everything about how beautiful she is and how much I want her. You see, while I don't like eating pussy, I LOVE making her come, and I would never tell her that such an important part of her body is unpleasant to me. And that's the key, here. NOT didn't need to dump her guy because he was gay (I'm betting he was straight,) she needed to dump him because he was a jerk. If he wasn't into her enough to endure some discomfort to give her pleasure, without complaining, without telling her he didn't even like looking at her body, then she deserves better.

Tits are luscious. Fine ass is a mathematical curve that tickles the aesthetics just right. Lips, eyes, legs, these things are beautiful. Pussy is... part of the package. The part you use to make yourself and your partner feel good. Some people like it, the same way some people are crazy for feet or ears or gasmasks. But most straight guys just say they like it, lying with a smile on their faces and no regrets, because they like women.


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Dear, Of Course I Love Your Cunt

My response is not after the jump. I'm not touching this one. I'm just going to go hide somewhere—perhaps in my boyfriend's mathematical curve—while outraged pussylovers and furious pussyhavers reduce DOCILYC to piles of sandwich meat in the comments thread.