Ex-Congressman Describes Tickle Fights With Aides

I prefer the version in this morning's print edition:

Congressman Who Quit Says He Had Tickle Fights

Ex-Rep Eric J. Massa has admitted to tickling a male congressional aide until the aide couldn't breathe, admitted to groping staffers on Glen Beck and then denied it on Larry King, admitted to once offering to help a fellow sailor masturbate, and says he "served" 10,000 other sailors. Ahem. But Massa denies being gay and I speak for all gay people everywhere when I say that we're more than willing to accept Massa's denial at face value. Ex-Rep. Massa is not gay (fingers crossed).