PARENTAL ADVISORY: This edition of The Morning News contains multiple uses of the "fuck" word. Please be advised of this before sharing The Morning News with your children, who surely never curse.
Why Travel When Everything You Need Is At at Home? Obama postpones foreign trip to help shepherd health care through Congress.
Suicide Bombers Kill 45: In Pakistan.
9/11 Settlement LIkely: A judge is checking to make sure that a $657.5 million settlement to pay 9/11 first responders who became sick from the dust is fair.
Short Version Is "They Were Fucked Up:" Inside the court's Lehman Brothers findings.
At Least He Didn't Say "Clusterfuckable:" Mayor McGinn calls budget crisis "serious" but not "dire."
I'm Feeling More Secure Already: Metro replaces tunnel security firm.
And It Will Never Go Down Again: Stock market up after surprisingly strong February retail figures.
Put Down Your Fucking Phone, Idiot: It's now a primary offense to drive while talking on cell phones in Washington state.
Not Helping His Case: In court yesterday, alleged cop killer Christopher Monfort unleashed a surprising verbal attack on the justice system, comparing the King County deputy who beat Malika Calhoun to Hitler and talking about "the price of our freedoms."
Against Construction: Tensions mount over a new Jerusalem building.
Fight the Power: There is a huge anti-government rally going on in Bangkok right now.
I Said, "UNDER MOTHERFUCKING GOD:" San Francisco appeals court says "Under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance isn't a prayer, is about patriotism.
Get Well Soon: Harry Reid's wife and daughter have been seriously injured in a car accident.
I Defend Waterboarding Karl Rove: Karl Rove defends waterboarding.
And now, your Daily Muppet: