This Shit Is Getting Old, Guys. Tensions continue to rise over East Jerusalem building plans.
You Oppose Health Care. Think About How That Sounds. Health care opponents have 200 no votes.
You Are the Most Boring Human on Earth. Repulsive idiot Rielle Hunter cries, pretends she didn't know sexy pictures would be so sexy.
I Can't Wait for the Law & Order Episode. (Hope It's SVU!) Your personal bacteria could be used as a forensic identification tool. "Each of us has bacterial communities that are unique to us."
"We and Sony feel that the future for raping Michael Jackson's corpse is unlimited." Michael Jackson's estate signs $250 million record deal.
WAKE UP! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE. Ha Ha, Just Kidding. Magnitude 4.4 earthquake jolts Los Angeles.
“To make a monk bleed is one of the worst sins." Thai Red Shirt protestors draw gallons of their own blood, dump it on the government's front steps. "Clumps of coagulated blood clung to the pavement. A Brahman walked barefoot through the foamy red pools and performed a ceremony. A soldier in full riot gear fainted and was taken away by his comrades."
Worst Episode of Punk'd Ever. Georgian TV station uses archival footage to trick everyone into thinking the president is dead and the Russians are invading and they're all going to get run over by a tank. Good one, guys.
Really? Gobsmacked? Five-year-old British boy kidnapped in Pakistan has been released. "His mother, Akila Naqqash, said she was 'gobsmacked.'"
RIP, He Pingping. World's smallest man dies a tiny, unexpected death.
Is Your Dick Broken? Not for Long! (Because You'll Be Dead Soon.) "There is pretty clear evidence that there is a substantially increased risk of heart attack and death when patients have erectile dysfunction."
For your health: